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Imagine how Jerry must have felt when Anna showered her affection on him after he lost his father. She rubbed his shoulders and spoke words of comfort to him. She did extra work and chores to help lighten his burdens. Her tenderness and warmth and the way she made him feel during an especially difficult time in his life will be etched in his memory forever.
     
    How about when Jessie trained for her first marathon? There were times when she almost quit. Her husband encouraged her to stick with it. She will always appreciate the massages he gave to ease her tension, the motivating words he said, and how she felt empowered and strengthened by his love and affection. It was enough to motivate her to keep training when it got tough and to keep believing when she doubted herself.
    Words and actions can have a significant impact when coupled with love and affection. Their impact will be long lasting when it moves the heart and emotions. Your spouse wants to have the assurance and feel the warmth of your love. You can do the right things, say the right things, but do not forget to show affection and love that will leave your partner will tender memories and fondness that will last forever.
     
    SAY IT & BELIEVE IT Read aloud (individually or together):
     
    Just as tension can be felt in a room after an argument, love and affection can be felt in the presence of someone who makes us feel valued. It is the kind of atmosphere we all like to be in. We enjoy being with our partners when they make us feel loved and show us their affection.
     
    I want ( spouse’s name ) to enjoy being in my presence. I realize that I can create my own atmosphere and energy. This can be done with simple things like lighting, sounds and music. But more importantly, I create the tone of my atmosphere by choosing my attitudes and actions. I can choose to be friendly, playful or kind. And if I am feeling irritable, I can choose to not be confrontational.
     
    I will not withhold my love and neither will I withhold physical affection from _____. I will remember the importance of physical touch and express my love physically as well as emotionally. I want _____ and me to enjoy one another as we show each other our love and affection both physically and emotionally.
     
    I want to be a pleasure to be around. I want _____to feel so safe, at ease, comfortable and loved around me that the best of him/her comes out. I want to be a positive presence in his/her life.
     
     
    With heartfelt, genuine care and passionate, gentle touch, I will show my spouse love and affection to remember .
     
     
     
    PUT IT INTO PRACTICE
     
    Recall the times you enjoyed being in one another’s presence. What made it so special and memorable? What was it about being around your partner that you especially enjoyed? Was it his or her humor, passionate kisses, flirtatious manner, gentle touch, energy, motivating attitude, positive outlook?
     
    This week, make a conscious effort to display your love and affection to one another. Toward the end of the week, talk about the experience and how it made you feel. If you had a difficult time being affectionate, ask yourself what made it difficult (unresolved relationship issues, discomfort, lack of interest).

Some ideas that show physical affection include:
    • Kiss your spouse good bye and hello
    • Hold hands
    • Give hugs
    • Embrace and kiss for several minutes
    • Offer a back or foot massage
    • Rub your spouse’s shoulders
    • Whisper in your spouse’s ear
    • Tickle each other, play footsie or flirt
    • Cuddle
    • Make love
 
    You may also want to pick a day and create an enjoyable, pleasurable atmosphere in which to spend some time alone together. You can make it a romantic and unforgettable time of love and affection. Some ways to create a memorable romantic atmosphere may be to:
     
    • Use soft dim lighting and scented candles
    • Play some of your favorite music
    • Dress specifically for the