Read Regarding Freemasonry: Everything You Wanted to Know About Masonic Conspiracies, for Free Online

closed.  Freemasons in the White House.  Antichrist taking over.  New World Order.  That’s it. 
     …Except for one teeny tiny detail. 
     The streets don’t actually form a pentagram.  The actual streets that are said to form the pentagram (Rhode Island Ave., Vermont Ave., Massachusetts Ave., Connecticut Ave., and K Street) do not all connect.  The maps used by conspirators to terrify the simple-minded overlook the way the streets of the city are actually shaped. 
     And even if there IS a pentagram on the streets (which there isn’t), it would not make it necessarily evil or even Masonic.  According to an article by National Geographic in 2009, “The pentagram, for example, is much older than Freemasonry and acquired its occult overtones only in the 19th and 20th centuries, hundreds of years after the Masons had adopted the symbol.”
    ***
     There are four obelisks in major Western cities across the world.  London, Paris, New York City, and Washington DC.  And all of them are evil.  Just ask your local nutcase.
     Here goes the logic:
     Obelisks originated in ancient Egypt. 
     They were dedicated to Osiris, an Egyptian deity.
     “Some” Masons think (I love that caveat.  There’s a Masonic lodge in how many thousands of cities and counties and villages all across the world, all filled with Masons, and SOME of them believe in one particular thing.  Perfect!) that Osiris was later reborn as Hiram Abiff. 
     Hiram Abiff is a very important figure in Masonic lore.
     Therefor all of these obelisks are indicative of the world’s pending enslavement to the Freemasons. 
    ***
     I notice that I keep petering out at the final reveal for those.  There’s this big build up and I kind of softball it at the end.  I can’t help it really.  By the time I’ve gotten that far, I just can’t bring myself to tie it all together as nicely as the wackadoos do. 
     Listen, I’m sure if you go on any of the many websites claiming to tell you the real truth about Freemasonry you’ll get a better idea of how all this stuff means the world is ending and the reptilian people are taking over. 
     My brain starts to hurt when I try to think like them.  It truly does.
     

Chapter 8: Blame It On Albert Pike (I Do)
      Most of the ammunition the nutballs use against Freemasonry can be traced back to one man: Albert Pike.  Pike was born in 1809, and throughout the remainder of his life, he certainly got around.  A quick glance at his curriculum vitae reveals that Pike was:
     An attorney, a Brigadier-General in the Confederate Army, a 33 rd Degree Mason in the Scottish Rite, and a member of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. 
     Pretty dodgy stuff, indeed.  But there is apparently more to know about Albert Pike, depending on who you ask.  Pike is often accused of being a Satanist, and also for establishing the blueprint for the New World Order. 
    ***
     Because being a racist Satanist Confederate General high-ranking official in the KKK just isn’t enough, this guy just had to be an attorney too? 
     Shudder.
    ***
     Pike is the only Confederate officer who has a statue in Washington DC, and people routinely point to his connection to Freemasonry as the reason it is allowed to exist.
     Interestingly enough, he did not have much of a military career. 
     Pike was a veteran of the Mexican-American war, but never held a position higher than Troop Commander.  Later, when the Civil War broke out, Pike was appointed as a military envoy to the Native Americans, and his successful negotiation of several treaties led to him being awarded a high-ranking position in the Confederate Army. 
     He led an Indian cavalry in the Battle of Pea Ridge, in which he was defeated.  After the Battle, he was accused of theft and atrocities and fled.  Pike was later arrested and charged with treason and insubordination, but upon his resignation from the Confederate Army, he was released. 
     And this is the guy they gave the