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in case you somehow missed that detail. No need to be jealous. But I’m not apologizing for who I’m friends with.”
    I knew I was being unfair. Problem was, I couldn’t bring myself to apologize either.
    “You’re right.” I sat up slowly. “I should have some fun out there.”
    He gave me a worried glance but then just nodded. “Yeah. We’ll talk, okay?”
    “Sure.” I slid down the stack of mats with little elegance. The lump in my throat swelled up as soon as I had my back to Jasper. The whole issue of holy shit, I’m actually gay had been difficult enough to face. Still was. Add a generous helping of rejection, and you’re looking at one really shitty prom night.
    Right there and then, I decided that getting drunk was the perfect response to it all.
    The rest of the night passed me by in a blurry haze of images and sensations. I found Trip, apologized profusely for my prolonged absence, and made it up to him by slamming drinks disguised as parent-approved punch while we luxuriated in the hot tub.
    I was not much of a drinker. My throat burned soon enough, but I kept going despite being perfectly aware I would regret the hell out of it in the morning. The hot water made me feel dazed and sluggish, and soon I wasn’t aware of much of anything anymore.
    A few impressions made it through to my conscious mind. Fletcher, jumping into the hot water next to me while still wearing his tux. Trip, stripping naked on a dare and sprinting round the entire pool. Elle’s never-ending giggles. An alcohol-soaked Nova straddling me with her long legs, sliding her hands beneath my swim trunks, coaxing me out of the tub.
    I clung to long blonde hair in my lap and wished the strands were short and chocolate brown. My head spent its last remaining rational thoughts on fueling my fear of yelling the wrong name. I bit my lip bloody trying to make myself stay silent, hating Jasper and Nova and myself all at once and channeling the anger into overly aggressive thrusts into a warm mouth. When I climaxed, the remainder of my strength and my will drained from me, leaving me with nothing but an unhealthy dose of self-loathing.

Chapter Four
    Getting to Know My Elephant
    I skipped lunch and fifth period on Monday so Trip and I could go grab fast food together. He couldn’t have convinced me if I hadn’t owed him—I’d been focused on academics all year, and attendance was a big part of that, even with graduation right around the corner.
    Especially with graduation right around the corner. My grades were not yet set in stone.
    But I shoved aside my GPA worries and wolfed down a burger, and somehow it felt okay. After everything I’d been through that weekend, my conscience was apparently cutting me some slack. Besides, there was the fact that it had been Trip who had gotten my stumbling-drunk ass to bed at around three in the morning, had made sure I had painkillers and water, and had even remembered to grab my tux before leaving the dance. Eating a burger seemed like the least I could do for him.
    Opposite me, Trip squinted at me as he chewed, and I couldn’t help but wonder whether we were about to have some sort of talk.
    “So,” he eventually said in between bites, “I think I puzzled it out.”
    I captured my straw with my lips and took a sip of Pepsi while mentally preparing myself. “Huh?” I said.
    “Why you were being all weird at prom,” he elaborated. “And why you were cozying up to the emo douche.”
    My stomach muscles clenched tightly. I wanted to take a deep breath but couldn’t. I had spent the time between prom and now being hungover as hell and trying my hardest to ignore the proverbial elephant that wasn’t just in the room but joyfully trampling all over my life. Logically, I’d known I would have to face it eventually, but I had hoped for a little more recovery time.
    “His name’s Jasper,” I managed to say. My voice sounded pressed to my own ears.
    “Whatever.” Trip waved his hand