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she’s dieting too. Or is she one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to worry about what she eats?
    I checked sunny over to see if she’d done any more body piercing. Her ears were studded with a bunch of earrings, which wasn’t new. She was still wearing a navel ring.
    But she’d added something else on her stomach. A small rose tattoo with thorns and leaves circled like a half-moon around the ring. Maybe it’s one of those temporary tattoos.
    I hope so.
    Amalia asked Sunny and Ducky what they were doing at the mall.
    Sunny held up a bag. “My mom asked me to get her a new nightgown and a scarf
    for her head.” Then she threw an arm around Ducky’s shoulder and said, “Dad let Ducky and me run out of Bookstore Jail to run this mission of mercy.” she looked around and said sarcastically, “Aren’t malls the most exciting apace in the world? Almost as much fun as bookstores.” She added under her breath, “And hospitals.”
    “Do you get the idea Sunny doesn’t like her job?” Ducky asked.
    I wanted to ask Sunny how her mother was doing but decided to wait and ask
    Ducky when she was out of earshot. (Ducky told me Mrs. Winslow wasn’t getting any better. I ache for Sunny.)
    Ducky said they were on their way to Mario’s. that it was All-the-Spaghetti-You-Can-Eat night. He asked me and Amalia to come with them.
    “Sure,” said Amalia. She turned to me and added, “is that okay with you?”
    Food. Again!
    “I’m here to shop,” I said. “Not eat.”
    “Maggie ahs a hot date Saturday night,” Amalia blurted out.
    I elbowed her, but it was too late. Sunny and Ducky were already quizzing me.
    After they had the scoop about me, Justin and the film, Sunny said, “We’ll help you pick out something to wear, Maggie.” She looked me up and down. I ad come right from work so I was wearing dirty jeans and a red T-shirt with the HCA logo. I was dressed like a jerk and I felt like a jerk. I had thought of bringing something to work to change into before I went to the mall. But I couldn’t decide what it should be.
    I may not like the way Sunny dresses, but at least she has style. I’m a mishmash of styles, which means No Style .
    Sunny said I should go to the second hand store and buy something retro.
    Pass.
    We went into a boutique.
    Ducky wanted me to buy tight, slim pants, a glittery T-shirt, an foxy high heels.
    Pass.
    Amalia held up a long, flowing skirt and said I should wear it with a string of beads she’d lend me. I didn’t even bother to try it on. I knew it would make me look like a balloon.
    I picked up a short brown skirt and a velveteen top with thin black vertical stripes.
    I figured dark colours and vertical stripes would make me look thinner.
    I put the outfit on and studied myself in the three-way mirror.
    I thought the skirt was snug. Amalia, sounding a little doubtful, said that if I really thought it was snug, I should try the next size up (a size four!) and that she’d get it.
    I told her no to bother. I sucked in my stomach and silently vowed that it would fit by Saturday.
    I ate a salad while they gorged themselves on spaghetti.
    Amalia pointed an enormous forkful of spaghetti at me. “This is so good,
    Maggie,” she said. “You have to taste it.”
    “No, I don’t,” I shot back. “leave me alone.”
    She looked hurt, but I don’t care.
    Maybe now she’ll stop trying to fee me.
    I’m exhausted.
    I’m going to sleep.
    Friday 7/24
    1:02 A.M.
    Goal: Forget about food. Don’t eat.
    Called in sick. Staying home from work today.
    Nervous about date.
    Nervous about Mom and benefit.
    Nervous about date.
    Nervous about writing new song for Vanish.
    Nervous about date.
    Tried on skirt. It almost fits.
    2:30 P.M.
    Why can’t Pilar mind her own business?
    Mom and I were working on the benefit in her study. Pilar came in to see hat we wanted for lunch. Mom said she’s have an omelette. I said I didn’t want anything, that I wasn’t hungry.
    “That’s not healthy,” Pilar