Read Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) for Free Online Page A

"I would love it."
    I look away first, pull my hands from her grasp gently. "So, how about some wine?"
    I stride off towards the kitchen, fighting against the tremors rising in my chest. I promised myself I wouldn't talk about Scott tonight, or even think about him, but Phillipa’s knowing look just made a lie of that. Scott and me spent a few very nice nights here, mornings and afternoons too, some of the best ever. Thinking I could forget all about him here was a dumb idea. Impossible. But it might be impossible for me to forget all about him anywhere.  
    Phillipa followed me into the kitchen, is watching me stare at the kitchen table where Scott ate a sandwich once, years ago it seems now.
    I clear my throat and head for the fridge. She has a couple of bottles of white wine. I grab the one that's open and set it on the counter too hard before I reach for the glasses.
    "If there's anything you want to talk about, Gail, I'm here for you, you know that," Phillipa says, as I hand her one of the glasses.
    "Scott left me again," I blurt out, tears hot in my throat. Somehow saying it makes it real. And now I'll cry, maybe never stop.
    Tears are streaming down my face as I walk to the living room and plop down on the couch.
    Phillipa sits next to me, takes the bottle from my hands. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Gail."
    I wipe my tears away on my sleeve, surprised when new ones don't follow. "I'm not taking him back this time."
    I can't believe how firm my voice is, how much of that statement I actually truly believe.
    "You probably shouldn't," Phillipa mutters, pouring the wine for us. "I mean, enough is enough, right?"
    She holds her glass up for a salute and I clink mine against it, the clear ring echoing in the room. "Enough is enough."
    "Love is a strange and complicated thing," she muses, leaning back against the cushions. "Sometimes, even when it's stronger than anything, it still can't last."
    "You and Holly?" I ask, before thinking. I shouldn't just blurt out these insensitive things.  
    She shrugs. "Wasn't meant to be, I guess."
    I turn to her and raise my glass again. "I'll drink to that."
    And she joins the toast, smiling crookedly with no real mirth. I see that Phillipa doesn't want to talk about what happened between her and her girlfriend. I guess that pain is still too raw.
    But for all my promises, I tell her everything. How I found out about Scott helping Mike, yelled at him, how he cheated on me, left in the middle of the night. Tears are streaming down my face again by the time I tell her of the late night phone calls. Mostly because I realize I want him to call me right now. Because I'd forgive him on the spot, if only he came home. Though maybe that's just the wine talking.
    "Maybe he's just protecting you," she says once I'm done talking, and I'm just staring off into space again, trying not to imagine falling asleep in Scott's arms tonight.
    "He doesn't need to keep me safe!" I exclaim. "I can take care of myself. He just has to be with me."
    "It's a thing with men," she says. "Take my two brothers for example, being overprotective is like breathing to them."
    "Well, brothers sure…" I let my voice trail off, not sure where I was going with this. ‘They're family’, I guess I wanted to say. But I want Scott to be my family too.
    Phillipa pours more wine for both of us. We've finished two bottles already and her face is starting to look a little fuzzy.  
    "What I meant was, with his crazy brother and all, I'm not surprised he doesn't want you involved," Phillipa continues. "For your own good."
    "He picked a funny way of showing me he cares. Sleeping with his ex and storming off in the middle of the night," I counter. "I'm sure there must be other ways. Better ways."
    I pause to drink off the rest of my wine.  
    "As they say, the simplest explanation is usually the right one," I continue. "Scott just doesn't want me in his life."  
    I came to the same conclusion as Phillipa in the beginning. But then I