Read Not Looking for Love: Episode 6 (A New Adult Contemporary Romance Novel) for Free Online Page B

followed it to this much more logical version.  
    And it hurts to know it. It's a sharp, relentless, stinging pain right in my heart, and it hardly ever really goes away. I’m just getting better at ignoring it.
    "We'll be just fine, whatever the truth is," Phillipa says, and raises her glass.
    "That we will," I answer and clink mine against hers again, drink the last few drops. And I know it for the truth with a certainty I haven't felt in months. Even though a soft feeling of homesickness and love, belonging and wistfulness is snaking through my chest now, taking the edges off the sharp stinging pain of truth. Even for all the knowing, I wouldn't say no to Scott if he came back right now. I'd never say no to him, for as long as I will live.

How hard is it to get out of an apartment lease? I've been going back and forth with the landlord for the better part of the week. In the end, I just let him keep the deposit, because I want to be over and done with it. But at least all the arguing and emailing gave me something to do, filled my thoughts with something other than being mad at Scott and being in love with Scott.
    I've been staying at Phillipa’s since Wednesday. And after a lot of deliberation, and countless instances of almost calling Scott to come get his stuff, I finally told the movers to put the boxes of his things in the basement of this house. I can call him later, when I'm less volatile, when I know better that we're through. Or better yet, he can call me. Until then, I won't be too happy having it all so near, but I can't throw it out either.
    Phillipa cracks open my bedroom door and sticks her head in. "Feel like some dinner?"
    I slam the textbook shut and nod, rubbing my eyes. I've been reading and rereading the same paragraph for what feels like hours anyway. Besides I have all the time to study now, will probably stay up till two or three in the morning doing it, like I've been this last week after there was nothing more for me to pack or clean.
    She wants to go out, I'm all for ordering in. We finally settle for walking to the taco truck on the corner, and eating there.
    "Leo says you ran right past him the other day and didn't even say hello," Phillipa says between bites. "He sounded a little put out when he told me."
    "Shit," I say, folding back the wrapper of my taco. "I wondered why he hasn't called at all."
    Not that I called him. I'm not huge on socializing now. And maybe Scott was a little right about Leo, I think he does like me. Which is not something I'm capable of handling right now.
    "That might have been last Friday," I say. Someone did call my name as I bolted past them. I'm really still flaunting my insanity for all to see.
    "Maybe you should give him a call," Phillipa suggests, tossing a piece of her tortilla for the birds that have gathered around us. "You two seemed to have hit it off the other night."
    "I'm not ready to start dating yet," I blurt out.  
    She turns to me sharply, scaring the birds. But there's a wide, surprised look plastered across her face, her eyes very soft. "I didn't mean to suggest, sweetie…no I just thought for a distraction."
    Distraction. That's how everything started between Scott and me in the first place. With my selfish, pigheaded need to make him be with me. And that never really ended. Until three weeks ago. When it did. For the last time. Shame is what I feel now, most strongly of all other things. Because I forced him into something he didn't want to do. Couldn't do, it seems now. And we both ended up hurt.
    "I'll see," I mutter, taking another bite, even though I'm totally not hungry anymore. I just want to go back home, maybe go to sleep for a few hours.  
    I'd expected all sorts of nightmares starring Mike to return when I moved back to the house he kidnapped me from. But mostly I don't remember my dreams now, and when I do ,they're of Scott. I think maybe I'd prefer the nightmares. I woke up this morning with butterflies in my stomach, certain