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cry.
    “It will mean a lot of driving. Are you comfortable with that?”
    “I love driving,” I said. Where in Grace County? I wondered.
    “I can tell you’re a passionate person, Miss Mackie, as your professor wrote in his letter,” she said. “I like that. Will the commute be a problem for you? Your office will be in Grace County, of course. In Ridley. That’s where mine is, but it was easier to interview candidates here.”
    “No problem,” I said. “I have a car.”
    “Where do you live?”
    “Right now, Cameron Park with my mother, but my fiancé—husband—and I will be living in Hayes Barton.”
    “My,” she said, eyes wide. “How lovely.” She got to her feet and I stood as well. She led me to her office door.
    “You remind me of myself in the early days,” she said, as she opened the door for me, “But I believe you’re a bit more … fragile than I was and that concerns me. This can be soul-searing work.”
    “I can be very strong,” I said, wondering what had given me away. My knees had gone soft at the mention of Grace County.
    “We’ll see,” she said. “Have a lovely wedding.”
    I drove home feeling both happy and anxious. I wouldn’t call Robert at his office to tell him I had the job. I’d wait until I saw him tonight, and then I’d mention it in passing, as though it were no big deal. I didn’t want to invite his questions about it. But I had to tell someone, so I drove to the library and found my mother taking a break on one of the benches out front. She was reading a book and smoking a cigarette. I sat down next to her and she looked up in surprise.
    “Guess who got a job!” I said.
    “You got it?” She turned the book over on her lap. “The social work job?”
    I nodded and reached for her cigarette to take a drag. I was an occasional smoker. Robert didn’t like it, so I never smoked around him. He loved his cigars, though.
    “Well, congratulations, honey,” she said, even though I knew she had mixed feelings about me working.
    “I’ll have my own clients,” I said, handing the cigarette back to her, “ and I’ll be making a hundred and eighty-five dollars a month!”
    “Where exactly will you be working?”
    I shrugged. “Not sure yet,” I said. “Out in the country somewhere.” I smoothed a wayward lock of her salt-and-pepper hair behind her ear. I’d keep Grace County to myself for a while. Mom hadn’t really been herself since the accident. I so rarely saw her smile anymore. I didn’t want to bring up anything that might upset her.
    She stroked my arm with her free hand. “Daddy would be so proud of you, honey,” she said. “I hope Robert is, too. I hope he knows what a treasure he has in you.”
    “Mother.” I laughed at the emotion in her voice. I would have been embarrassed if anyone had overheard her, but as it was I just felt loved. I kissed her cheek. “I’ve got to go shopping for some work clothes. See you at home tonight?”
    “So many changes,” she said, as if she hadn’t heard me. “You’re leaving home. Getting married. Working.” She shook her head. “I’ll miss you so much.”
    “I’ll only be a couple of miles away,” I reassured her. The sadness in her voice worried me.
    “My baby’s all grown up,” she said with a sigh, and maybe it was only my imagination, but I thought she was thinking of her other baby. The one who would never have the chance to grow up. I would grow up well enough for both of us.

 
    4
    Ivy
    From our bed, I could see the numbers on the windup clock on the dresser, thanks to the moon. I kept my eyes on it. Eleven o’clock. Eleven-fifteen. Eleven-thirty. I was waiting for eleven forty-five and was afraid I might drift off before it came, I was so tired. I’d had to fight with Nonnie to test her pee tonight. She was getting stubborner and stubborner about it and she wouldn’t boil the test tube after every time she used it because she said rinsing it out was good enough. She was no good at