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she would not be going to school tomorrow after all.
    ‘I am going to open “The House of Piggins”,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Why is she opening a house?’ asked Michael.
    ‘I think Nanny Piggins is talking about starting a wedding-cake-baking business,’ explained Derrick.
    ‘Piffle to that!’ admonished Nanny Piggins. ‘The House of Piggins will be more than a cake-baking business. It will be a design studio for cake-based art.’

    And so The House of Piggins went into business and it was immediately a huge success. If anything, it was too successful, because the cakes were so good. If guests knew a House of Piggins cake was going to be served, they started yelling ‘Get on with it’ and ‘Where’s the cake?’ in the middle of the marriage ceremony.
    At one wedding the bride actually bolted halfway through the vows, not because she wanted to run out on the groom (she married him at a second ceremony later in the day) but because she wanted to get to the reception before anybody else and start eating the cake. (She had bought a wedding dresswith an elasticated waist especially so she could eat lots and lots of it.)
    The vicar was very cross with Nanny Piggins. ‘Everyone has gathered here to celebrate the sanctity of marriage and that has been ruined by your cake,’ he accused.
    ‘Pish!’ retorted Nanny Piggins. ‘My cakes are single-handedly propping up the marriage rate. You should be thanking me. I’m bringing you business.’
    ‘But the institution of marriage is the most important thing about a wedding day,’ argued the vicar.
    ‘And it would be a much happier institution if married people ate more cake,’ argued Nanny Piggins.
    ‘I refuse to conduct any more weddings where you supply the cake,’ shouted the vicar.
    ‘I refuse to supply my cake to any more of your ceremonies!’ countered Nanny Piggins. She turned on her heel and marched out of the church. The children hurried after her.
    ‘But Nanny Piggins,’ said Michael, ‘you love making wedding cakes.’
    ‘Oh, I’m not quitting the wedding-cake business,’ declared Nanny Piggins. ‘I’m diversifying. I’m goingto become a wedding celebrant! From now on I will supply the cake and the marriage ceremony.’
    And she was true to her word. Which meant the vicar soon found himself with a lot more free Saturdays, because ‘The House of Piggins Wedding Ceremonies’ became an instant hit.
    Nanny Piggins solved the problem of having guests and bridal party members making an undignified dash for the cake by borrowing her old cannon from the circus and starting each of her ceremonies by blasting cake over the congregation. She spattered them with delicious chocolate cake, lemon drizzle cake or sticky toffee surprise cake – whatever the bride and groom requested. The congregation enjoyed eating the impromptu snacks they scraped off their clothes, and it was quite an ice-breaker. (It also made Nanny Piggins tremendously popular with all the local drycleaners.)
    The House of Piggins Wedding Ceremonies was doing a roaring trade. Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children spent all week making the most fantastic cakes her mind could imagine (and she had quite an imagination when it came to cake) and then they would spend all Saturday and Sunday running one wedding after another.

    One Monday morning after a particularly exhausting weekend of cake, cake and more cake, Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children were sitting around the kitchen table, girding themselves for another long week of cake-baking ahead (by eating a slice of cake) when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.
    ‘I wonder who that could be?’ said Boris.
    ‘If it is a young couple wanting to get married,’ said Nanny Piggins, ‘tell them I’ve got a three-year waiting list for a full marriage service. Or they can come in now and I’ll marry them while I start work on the next cake, then to celebrate I’ll let them lick the spoon.’
    Michael rushed back a moment