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smiled. ‘That is because it is a scale drawing. You see the bride and groom on the top of the cake?’ Nanny Piggins pointed to the figurines at the top of her design.
    ‘The little figurines, yes,’ said the Princess.
    ‘They aren’t little figurines,’ explained Nanny Piggins. ‘That’s you and the Duke. I am making a cake big enough to have real people as the cake toppers.’
    Princess Annabelle’s eyes boggled. ‘But then the cake must be ten metres tall!’
    ‘Fifteen,’ corrected Nanny Piggins. ‘I don’t believe in half measures.’
    ‘I love it!’ cried the Princess, ‘I must have this cake.’
    ‘But that’s not all,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘I’ve spoken to some of my friends at NASA, and in exchange for my ongoing silence about a certain international incident that took place earlier in the year, they are lending me a hydraulic system.’
    ‘I don’t understand,’ said the Princess.
    ‘After the ceremony,’ explained Nanny Piggins, ‘you will be lowered by hydraulics into the cake, so you and your groom can eat your way out while the guests eat their way in.’
    Princess Annabelle started to cry tears of joy. She also hugged Nanny Piggins tightly while sobbing, ‘Thank you, thank you all of you. This is going to be the best wedding ever.’

    So Nanny Piggins and her team set to work. It was a good job they brought Hans with them. His piping skills were invaluable and by sitting up on Boris’ head, he was able to reach up to decorate the first three metres of the cake. (He had recovered well from his baker’s elbow.) Plus it turned out that Hans knew quite a lot about cake engineering. It was his idea to insert long chocolate rods into the cake for extra support.
    When the big day arrived, the cake-makers were exhausted but proud. Not since the construction of the Taj Mahal had a man-made (or in this case pig-made) structure been assembled that was somagnificent. Tourists were already coming to the island just to have their picture taken with it (and secretly lick the icing when no-one was looking).
    The wedding was to be held at midday, so after she finished piping the entire first chapter of her favourite romance novel along the side of the cake, Nanny Piggins got dressed in her marriage celebrant’s robes (an off-the-shoulder evening dress made entirely out of chocolate bar wrappers, which still contained chocolate, just in case she got peckish during the ceremony) and went down to the castle courtyard where the wedding was to be held.
    As Nanny Piggins stood on top of the giant cake facing the Duke of Sloblavia (having been raised up there in a cherry picker), she got her first good look at the groom. He was tall, which Nanny Piggins knew from reading romance novels was supposed to count for something. And his face was classically handsome. But he was not an attractive man because the expression on his face was so miserable.
    ‘Have you recently lost a pet?’ Nanny Piggins enquired sympathetically.
    ‘I’m not here to make chit-chat. Why can’t we just get on with it?’ asked the Duke stroppily.
    ‘Because the bride hasn’t arrived yet,’ explainedNanny Piggins slowly, beginning to be concerned the poor groom had suffered a head injury.
    ‘That would be right …’ muttered the groom. ‘Typical woman.’
    ‘What did you say?’ asked Nanny Piggins, beginning to glower.
    But at this moment they were interrupted by Michael rushing to the side of the cake and yelling up, ‘Nanny Piggins, you’d better come quickly!’
    ‘What’s the matter?’ called down Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Probably can’t decide which shoes to wear,’ muttered the groom. ‘Ridiculous females.’
    Nanny Piggins turned back to bite him, but Michael wailed, ‘Please, Nanny Piggins, come quickly.’ She slid down the solid chocolate fireman’s pole conveniently built into the back of the cake (all structures over ten metres’ tall have to have an emergency exit) and hurried off with Michael.

    When