Read My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding for Free Online Page A

here. Not to mention, I can't get hold of Odeliasince for some reason, my cell phone, and any other phone I touch, won't connect with her number. Now you tell my uncles for me, if they don't wanna see Jeb's son really lose his temper, then they'd better stop throwing whatever it is that they're hurling over the fence toward the Hatfields! Y'all gonna make me lose my mind and conjure myself!"
    "Oh, Lord . . . don't tell 'em that. It'll jus' get their hopes up."
    "Baby girl!"
    Odelia stood stockstill as her father waltzed into the motel lobby with a bag of ice. Reluctantly, she hugged him, hoping he wasn't involved in the fray.
    "Just look at my chile, all growed up." "Dad," she said calmly, "what did Auntie Effie do?" "She didn't do nothin'," he protested, peering away sheepishly as he held a dripping bag of ice. "They was out, machine went dead here, so I had to go make a run to get some" "Daddy . . ." Odelia's hands went to her hips. "Aw, you know Effie. She just got herself a bad case of the hives . . . you know how highstrung she is. Might be shingles. She had them once or twice, and they say it never really goes away. But, uhm, after the food poisoning passed through her and all her sisters, we was all able to get on the road and travel up in a coupla vans with no problem. You get the dress I sent you, suga'?" Her father flashed her the most dashing smile and his thick bicep wrapped around her in a onearmed bear hug.
    "Yes, Daddy," she said calmly, and returned his hug. "It's beautiful."
    "I'ma be a proud man to walk down the aisle with ya looking just like yo' momma . . . even if he is a McCoy."
    She let the dig pass, as well as the sentimental reference to her mother. "Youall don't stop, ain't gonna be no wedding."
    "Now, now, don't git yourself all worked up. We all agreed to a truce," he said, patting her arm as he hoisted up the ice higher.
    "My maid of honor's hair is green. Black beetles attacked her salad. She threw up in public in a restaurant. A crow pooped on her head in the street. The girl is laid out on her sofa, traumatized. Tell Aunt Effie to stop, because whatever she sent toward Jefferson boomeranged, missed me, and hit my best Friend."
    Her Father looped his arm beneath hers and Feigned shock as they began to walk. "Do tell. Now, see, that's why I don't Fool with them tacky establishments.
    Your girlfriend oughta be more selective"
    "Dad, I'm serious."
    She watched her Father swallow away a smile.
    "Aw right. Your Nana Robinson made us call a truce, like I said, any ole way.
    Plus I heard that Rev got up a prayer wall, so it musta accidentally slid onto whoever was near ya."
    Odelia stopped walking. "I haven't been able to get in touch with Jefferson all day."
    Her Father patted her arm and kissed the top of her head. "Oh, he'll be all right.
    He's covered, I reckon."
    "You reckon?"
    "Effie and your other aunties was truly offended by Nana Robinson's accusations."
    "Where's Nana?"
    "Alive. That old bat is fine."
    "Daddy!"
    Her father sighed. "I don't rightly know. Probably holed up with Reverend Mitchell, and them Jones people. They had the nerve to form an alliance agin' us Hatfieldshave you ever heard such? We supposed to be kin, us and the Robinsons!"
    "What happened?" Jefferson said in a near whisper as he looked around the hotel room that all his uncles had packed into for a family meeting. Were it not for a lift by another buddy, Jefferson wouldn't have been there at all.
    Each one of them had dark red splotches all over their faces and was itching and scratching so badly that it gave Jefferson a nervous tic. His mother stood at his side, arms folded over her big bosom, wig firmly set on her head, her expression a mixture of victory and disgust.
    "Serves 'em all right. I done tol' 'em Grandma Jo meant what she said. But they had to tes' my momma and it done boomeranged on all of 'em. They couldn't even eat dinner at Red Lobster, for everybody getting sick."
    "Boy, tell your grandma to call off the