Read My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding for Free Online

the texture of it; they turned it into straw with overprocessing." New tears filled Carlah's eyes and fell into her salad.
    Odelia handed Carlah a tissue and grasped her hand. "As soon as I can get ahold of Jeff, we'll figure out what you have to do to sue them, all right."
    "I don't feel good," Carlah said. "I need to go lie down."
    "Okay, okay, we can do that," Odelia said quickly, and tried to hail a very slowcoming waitress.
    But before Odelia could get their server's attention, Carlah was out of her chair, screaming. All heads turned in the restaurant, and several waiters rushed over. To everyone's horror, beneath the top lettuce leaves, fat, black beetles had begun to emerge from Carlah's plate. Odelia almost fell over her chair in the scramble to get away from the toxic table. Her girlfriend dryheaved and then lost her lunch in the middle of an aisle. Nearby patrons shrieked and stood. Odelia crossed herself and ran to her friend's side, hurrying her from the establishment so she could get air, ignoring the apologies and the commotion that ensued behind them. When a crow flew by and crapped on Carlah's head, Odelia just hustled her shrieking girlfriend to the car.
    It was all she could do to get Carlah settled down enough to drive her back to campus. Once she and Carlah's sorority sister, Gwen, had gotten Carlah to lie down with a cold wet compress over her face, Odelia headed for the Red Roof Inn, where her people were holed up. The only way she'd been able to get Carlah to let go of her hand was to promise to call the media and get Jefferson to make both the offending salon and the filthy restaurant his first legal cases.
    During the entire short drive to the motel, Odelia could feel rage strangling her.
    By the time she made it to the lobby, she could barely speak into the house phone.
    "Aunt Effie," she demanded, "where's"
    "Hi, baby! Congratulations! We all so proud, and just"
    "Where's Daddy? What room are y'all in?"
    "Room three twentyfive, honey. C'mon up. We got plenty of food."
    "Momma, they only let us go because we had student ID and they drove down the road to check out our story and found our crashed carwhich had all the tags, license, insurance, and registration straight, like we'd said. Put Uncle Rupert on the phone!"
    "Baby, now you watch your tone, especially when you call your uncles' and them's room. He ain't in here, and we ain't exactly on speaking terms, neither.
    Don't start no mess you can't finish. So you tread light, Son."
    "Tread light? Tread light, Momma! I thought I was playing it safe by moving all my wedding and graduation stuff to my boy's apartmentbut noooo. Here I'm about to graduate and get married in less than twentyfour hours and a black cat crossed my path, I've been in a car accident with my best man, we've been arrested, he can't find the ring, and I'm now standing in his apartment that's been flooded by a toilet that was in the one above us, and my suit is ruined!"
    "Now that's what family's For, suga'. I know you can borrow a suit from one of your uncles, if need be," his mother soothed. "And"
    "I'm not wearing nothing from them. Do I sound like I'm crazy, Momma? In the middle of a hoodoo war, wearing their clothes would be like putting a bull'seye on my forehead!"
    "Well. . . perhaps you have a point, Son." His mother sighed into the receiver.
    "Hugh just threw me his apartment keys and left to go stay with his family in the hotelthe poor man couldn't take no more tonight, even if we are homeboys."
    "Baby, that's such a shame," his mother said quietly. "He'll be all right. His family is prayed up, ain't they? Besides, I don't think your uncles aimed to kill . . .
    uhmmm, just to deter."
    "I ain't got no shoes, no drawers, no clean shirts, and all the good stores are closed. My best man is four inches shorter than me, so scratch me borrowing a suit from him. His car is totaled; my car battery mysteriously just died; how am I gonna get to the mall? Ain't no buses running out