My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding
hoodoo hounds so we can all go to your graduation tomorrow," his uncle Rupert begged, scratching his crotch. "There's conjuring, and then there's just plain ole unfair!"
    "Son, I got a suit you can wear; one of us got some shoes," Melville cried, scratched a bald spot in his scalp, and then unbuckled his pants. "Tell that old lady that to make a man itch this bad where the sun don't shine just ain't Christian!"
    "Where's Gran?" Jefferson asked his mother, too done For words.
    "Over at the church, probably with Rev and the Robinson and Jones clan."
    Odelia didn't wait to be told twice. Her mission was to find Nana Robinsonsanctuary. After seeing her thirteen aunts sprawled out on two beds, the floor, and room chairs scratching what looked like quartersized mosquito bites, Odelia was out. She lied, telling her fifty cousins who whooped and surrounded her in the hall with glad tidings that she'd be back to eat dinner with them, as soon as she doublechecked on her girlfriend. Eat there? Not. She just prayed for all the little kids, too numerous to count, hoping God truly did look after children and fools.
    By the time she reached the church grounds, she was close to tears. Obviously, verbal truces aside, an allout war had started. If Jefferson had been hurt and caught in the cross fire, she vowed to mount her own vendettaagainst her own kin. This was absolutely outrageous!
    Odelia doubleparked, dashed for the church house, rang Pastor Wise's door, and waited, hugging herself. She could hear loud voices and laughter and could smell the fragrance of good home cooking wafting from the windows. Why couldn't her life just be normal, like this? When the burly man with the big smile and warm eyes came to the door wearing a clerical collar, tears streamed down her face in earnest.
    "Come on in here, darlin'; you got people waiting on you," he said, enfolding Odelia in his arms. "Reverend Mitchellthe bride's here!"
    Odelia buried her face in the pastor's barrel chest and breathed deeply, staving off an allout crying jag. Another pair of warm, elderly hands petted her back and guided her away From Pastor Wise and across the threshold. Nana Robinson was smiling and standing next to a thin, gaunt woman with a kind Face and merry eyes.
    A roomful of people surrounded the two older matrons, and Reverend Mitchell kept his arm tightly around Odelia's shoulders. But once she saw her nana, it was all over.
    Breaking the reverend's hold, Odelia rushed to the thick, safe arms that had always been there for her as a child.
    "I know, baby. We all heard about it," her nana cooed, stroking Odelia's hair.
    "Now you go on upstairs with Pastor Wise's wife, get showered, and put your dress on. We sent your cousin to go git it, and a nice security guard from the building let us in, so we could save your momma's dress from the fire ants that decided to invade your apartment. The door was already open, on account of they had to fumigate."
    "Fire ants?" Odelia was slackjawed.
    "Oh, we got the dress and shook 'em out." her nana reassured her. "We's gonna fetch your daddy, and that boy's momma, and bring jus' them here for a little repast. The rest of them fools got contagion." Her nana chuckled and clucked her tongue as she held Odelia back so she could wink at her. "Brought it on deyselves
    . . . don't know how that happened?"
    "Uhmmmhmmrn," the thin woman beside her nana said. "The Lord do work in mysterious ways."
    "Now, Grandma Jo, I thought you old girls agreed to leave this mess in the purview of prayer"
    "We did, Reverend Mitchell," Grandma Jo said, pressing a gnarled hand to her chest in shock. "You know we too ole to be acting like that, and we cooked up some good food that ain't gonna make nobody sick. Got a purty cake for the ceremony . . . lemon butter pound, a real cake, not some sto'bought mess."
    Odelia looked around, confused. "You're Jefferson's Grandma Jo?"
    "Yes, baby. Welcome to the Family. I'm a Jones. Don't get me conFused with being no

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