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her Coca-Cola bottle she drifted upstairs. Somewhat shaken by this encounter I poured myself another bourbon and, finding no ice in the cooler, I went out to the back regions where I presumed Fred had his abode.
    I found him in a green baize apron sitting at the kitchen table which was covered with such an enormous pile of silver it would have made Captain Kidd blink.
    â€˜Ah am cleaning de silver,’ he said unnecessarily.
    â€˜So I see,’ I said. ‘Could I have some ice?’
    â€˜Yes, suh,’ he said, ‘you sho’ can. Ain’t nothin’ worse than warm Coca-Cola.’
    He fetched the ice cubes and put them in my drink.
    â€˜Yes, suh, it’s nice to live in a house with no strong liquor. Strong drink is raging.’
    He picked up a silver dish in which you could have easily bathed a baby and started to polish it. I sipped my bourbon furtively.
    Take a seat, suh,’ said Fred, hospitably, drawing out a stool. Take a seat and set awhile.’
    Thank you,’ I said, sitting down and hoping the strong smell of liquor would not drift across the table to Fred’s nostrils.
    â€˜Are you a religious man?’ he asked, busy with polishing silver so bright that it did not seem in need of it.
    â€˜Church of England,’ I said.
    â€˜Is dat right?’ said Fred. ‘Dat would be in England, wouldn’t it?’
    â€˜Yes,’ I said.
    â€˜Is dat anywhere near de Pope?’ asked Fred.
    â€˜No, a fair distance away.’
    â€˜Dat Pope’s always kissing de ground,’ said Fred, shaking his head. ‘Ah don’t know why he don’t have a disease, carrying on like dat.’
    â€˜It’s a habit Popes have,’ I explained.
    â€˜It’s a bad habit,’ said Fred firmly. ‘It’s not clean. He don’t know who’s bin there before him.’
    He picked up a salver big enough to accommodate the head of John the Baptist and started work on it.
    â€˜Ah was never a religious man until I was saved by Charity,’ he remarked.
    â€˜By Charity?’ I asked, puzzled.
    â€˜Mah third wife,’ he explained. ‘She introduced me to the Church of the Second Revelation en ah become saved. It was all explained to me. All de woes of de world you can blame on one woman.’
    â€˜Who?’ I asked, hoping he was not going to say Miz Magnolia.
    â€˜Eve,’ he said, ‘dat who. She was de one what created strong liquor and fornication.’
    â€˜How did she invent strong liquor?’ I enquired, feeling that, if true, this was a point in Eve’s favour rather than the reverse.
    â€˜Apples,’ said Fred. ‘Dat tree of knowledge got apples on it en where yew got apples yew can be sure they’re gonna make cider. En she was probably drunk to do what she did.’
    â€˜What did she do?’ I asked, now thoroughly mystified.
    â€˜She was dislocated in her brain by drink,’ said Fred with conviction. ‘What woman in her right mind gonna talk to a snake? No, a normal woman would-a gone a-running and phoned up de police and de fire brigade.’
    I had a momentary but very clear vision of the Garden of Eden with half a dozen bright red fire-engines and a covey of policemen surrounding the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.
    â€˜Yes, and den she was de cause of all de over-population we got now, yes siree.’
    â€˜But Eve didn’t have many children,’ I protested.
    â€˜But what did dey do?’ he asked. ‘What did dey do, eh? Fornication — if yew’ll excuse the word. Fornication left right and centre. Stand to reason all dat begatting gonna lead to over-population. Yes, fornication and cider, dat’s why de good Lord expelled dem.’
    I must say this gave me a completely new slant on the downfall of Adam and Eve.
    â€˜If they’d had prohibition in those days it might of helped,’ Fred continued, ‘but even de good Lord couldn’t