took this extraordinary piece of information in their stride.
âWasnât she one of the Henderson twins, the ones with red hayer and all those unsightly freckles?â
âYes, and their cousin married the Breverton man and then shot him,â said Miz Marigold.
âA most unsatisfactory family,â said Miz Magnolia. âIâll go and get the tea.â
She reappeared in a moment bearing a large silver tray on which reposed a gigantic silver teapot, delicate china cups and two silver dishes, one containing ice cubes and the other sliced lemon.
âThereâs nothing like tea on a hot day like this,â said Miz Magnolia, putting lemon and ice cubes into a cup and handing it to me. I took it, wondering why all the ladies were watching me with an air of expectancy. I raised the cup to my lips, took a sip and choked. The cup contained straight bourbon.
âIs it to your liking?â asked Miz Magnolia.
âExcellent,â I said. âI take it that Fred didnât make it.â
âOh, no,â said Miz Magnolia, smiling, âI always make the tea mahself. It saves trouble, yew know.â
âMah pappy always say-ed to me that cold tea helped the flesh,â said Miz Marigold, somewhat mysteriously.
âLittle Miz Lillibut â you remember she was married to Hubert Crumb, one of those Crumbs from Mississippi, who were related by marriage to the Ostlers,â said Miz Melancholy, âwell, she always washed her face in iced tea and she had a complexion like a peach, a veritable peach.â
âMiz Ruby Mackintosh â she was one of the Scottish Mackintoshes that came over from Scotland and married into the Mackinnon family, and old man Mackinnon was such a bully he drove his wife into the grave â she was a Tenderson girl, whose mother was an Outgrabe from Minnesota â well Miz Ruby always say-ed that there was nothing like cream and pecan oil for the skin,â said Miz Marigold.
âWerenât the Mackintoshes related to the Quinsers?â asked Miz Magnolia.
âYes, Miz Rubyâs uncle married a Quinser, the one with the fallen arches and a figger like a sack of sweet potatoes,â said Miz Melancholy.
I decided to cut across this genealogical reverie.
âMiz Melancholy,â I said, âyou have such an attractive name. How did you come by it?â
She looked at me, puzzled.
âBaptism,â she said at last.
âBut who chose your name?â I asked.
âMah father,â she said. âYou see, he wanted a boy.â
Another hour went by in a haze of bourbon and a patchwork of names and families. Finally, the ladies rose to take their unsteady departure.
âWell,â said Miz Magnolia, when they had vanished in a flurry of kisses and âloved seeing yewâ. âIâm going to come up and see your room.â
âBut my roomâs fine,â I protested. âItâs absolutely wonderful.â
âI like to check things for mahself,â said Miz Magnolia ominously. âNow Fredâs turned eighty-nine heâs not as observant as he used to be.â
âEighty-nine?â I asked incredulously.
âCertainly is,â said Miz Magnolia, starting up the stairs. âHeâll be ninety on December 22nd.â
Before I could comment on this, the gentleman in the velvet dressing gown appeared at the head of the stairs waving a large and extremely sharp-looking sabre.
Theyâre burning Atlanta,â he shouted.
âMercy me,â said Miz Magnolia, âhe has been watching that darned video of Gone with the Wind again. I wish Cousin Cuthbert hadnât given it to him at Christmas.â
âTheyâll be hayer any minute,â shouted the man with the sabre.
âCan I introduce you to Great Uncle Rochester,â said Miz Magnolia.
âHave you buried the silver?â asked Great Uncle Rochester. âThereâs not much time.â
I