Read Through the Fire for Free Online

have his fingers awaken her flesh. She wanted to feel him inside of her, if only for a moment, just long enough to remember what it felt like to be a woman. She hadn’t wanted that with anyone for so long. Couldn’t bear the thought of a man other than her husband touching her. But Sterling was gone. She was still here. She was still alone, still afraid—even now when the man who’d made her blood heat again was mere inches away. And she didn’t want to be those things anymore—alone and lonely—at least for a few precious moments.
    “I’m not sure why I came, Rae,” Quinn finally answered. “All I know is that I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you all night. I woke up this morning and you were here.” He tapped his temple. “Right there in my head, messin’ with my mind.”
    There was a sense of wonder on Rae’s face as she watched him confess. She’d felt thesame way—all night, as she’d walked the floors and the music taunted her. “I didn’t expect this.”
    He laughed self-consciously and tossed it off, getting up and moving away from her. He walked to the window, keeping his back to her, gathering his emotions back into the tight band that held them in place and out of reach.
    “What do you want from me?” she asked gently.
    He hesitated a moment, not sure of just how far he wanted the door to be pushed open. “I don’t know. Maybe everything—too much. Maybe nothing. I don’t know if anyone can give me what I’m looking for.”
    “What are you looking for, Quinn?”
    “Peace, absolution, my soul back.” He took a breath, exhaling. “I’m just tired…” He pressed his hand against the window frame, bracing his weight against it.
    “Tired of what?” she asked, stepping up behind him and placing a hand on his stiff shoulder.
    “Tired of hurting inside,” he answered wearily. “Tired of feelin’ I got a raw deal fromlife.” He moved out of her reach. The door had been pushed open too far.
    Rae watched him, trying to see what he was trying so desperately to hide. Was he like the others who came at her with soft, sweet words, promises, and damaged souls, expecting her to heal them? She wondered if Quinn was worth the trouble. Something unnamed told her that he was.
    “I’ve been there,” she confessed. “Still there at times. But we find a way to move on.”
    “By what, forgetting?” He turned toward her, his eyes suddenly dark and dangerous.
    “I don’t have all the answers. I may never have them. All I can believe in is that healing takes time. It’ll happen for you.” She needed to believe that as much as he did.
    His jaw clenched. “What makes you think you know so much about me?” he demanded, suddenly irrationally angry, defensive.
    “Your eyes,” she said simply, unafraid of his unwarranted attack. “It’s all there. The windows to the soul.” She smiled softly and crossed the room, sat down on a pillow and continued. “If you ever decided to play again, it would be there as well. And that’s not alwaysa bad thing. Listen to the blues. It’s the heart of ache and loss that gives it the richness and depth, which makes it touch something inside us.” She wrapped her arms around her knees, staring into his stormy eyes.
    Quietly he appraised her, and realized why he was so angry with her. He was afraid of her, afraid of her ability to see beyond his shell, to peel it away and expose him. And his greatest fear was that they would both discover that there was nothing inside.
    “Do you ever think you’ll play again?”
    “I don’t know,” he answered in a monotone.
    “What are you afraid of?”
    The question shook him. How could she know? He swallowed, fighting down the seed of truth that struggled to burst forth. He failed. “Myself,” he answered. “And you.” He came toward her.
    This time it was Rae who moved away to safety—out of reach, wary almost, rising to circle him as her emotions raced. Finally she stood still, gripping the edge of the