Read Judgement Day for Free Online Page B

know,
right?) . I’ve never been into pop music, but when I tried to
think of a more attractive woman, I drew a blank.
    I also thought
that Bill Gate’s money was saved up for me, and that was why there
was this super-rich guy in the world . T hat
was my money, I was going to take all of his money off him and
leave him penniless! Ha! I was asking my mum how much of his money
she wanted ? I wanted her
to know that I’ll take care of her, that she’ll never have to work
again. I nicknamed Bill “Never Getting Through The Pearly” Gates.
Stupid rich jerk.
    One night a
few weeks after I got out of the hospital my parents were out for
the night. I smoked some pot, I think it must have been the pot I
got from Ben, and I drank some Wild Turkey on my own. I started
panicking, I was really freaking out! I started freaking out
thinking terrorists were going to kill me. I ended up cowering in
the toilet, the smallest and coolest room in the house, trying to
get away from their heat seeking missiles, desperately calling the
police and asking them
to protect me. The police came around but they didn’t do anything,
they just talked to me for a few minutes and then left. Then mum
came home and I had her drive me to the police station. I begged
the police to lock me in a cell for the night to keep me safe from
people trying to kill me. Then we went up to the hospital, and I
could feel my body burning from all of the things I had been saying
about destroying the world. I felt like I was going to go to hell
and I could already feel the heat consuming me from the inside. I
was terrified ! I wanted
scissors to cut out the word “bastard” from a t-shirt I was wearing
that said “Bastard Squad,” because I didn’t want to be a sinner.
I’ve never felt the fear of hell like that ever in my life. Hell is
a scary place. When you truly believe that you are going to burn in
hell, there is no other fear like it. I sent my final letter to the Pentagon, it was a handwritten note on a scrap of
paper. It read “I’m a monster,” and nothing else. “They would know
who sent it to them.”
    I was really
heavily sedated for a long time. I told my psychiatrist Dr Pusic
how I was so tired that I couldn’t do anything, and he would deny
that the drugs were sedating. This made me believe that it wasn’t
something I would ever get better from, it made me believe that my
brain was just fucked, that I would never be able to get out of bed
again, that my life was over. I spent the next year and a half
sleeping twelve hours a night and having a nap in the afternoon. I
tried going back to university, but I couldn’t do it. I really
struggled making it through a shift at work too, but my bosses were
quite nice to me and let me go home if I needed to.
    At home, my
parents were shit. Every time I walked in the room Ken would say
things, he would mutter names like “fuckwit,” “dickhead,”
“arsehole.” Mum would ask why I’m always in my room, she would tell
me that I smell, that my face looks bad, that I’m walking too
heavily, that I’m lazy. She would have family photos taken and tell
me how I ruin the picture. I would look around the hallway at the
family photos and at how I didn’t fit in to this family. I felt
like they weren’t really my family, that God was my real family,
and these people just raised me, like I was adopted by this family.
I would cover up myself in the pictures and look at the family
without me, because I thought that soon I would be dead.
    One time when
I mentioned my universe theory around Ken, he said “bullshit
theory,” I’ve never been so insulted in my life. These people just
wouldn’t believe that I was an intelligent guy. Could you imagine
if Einstein’s parents had heard him mention his theory of
Relativity and said “theory of bullshit” ? It’s just fucked, I’ve always been a
smart guy, and then suddenly everything I say is bullshit. I really
just wanted someone to believe me, so my thoughts