already knew it.
Now, every now and then, I get a little urge—you know what I’m talking about—and I can make a phone call and have a friend come over.
But we’re not talking about that right now.
Before I arrived at that place, though, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was all right.
There is nothing wrong with me for wanting to be alone or for being comfortable being alone. There is nothing wrong with having three or four cats if I decide to—but because I’m very vain and don’t want people calling me a cat lady, I have only one. There’s a lot of ego going around here, and it’s all mine and I understand that.
I hope you see the foolishness of not being true to yourself. Believe me, I know it’s very hard to do, when people are pushing you into getting married. Gay folks are having it the worst now, because everybody is “You can get married now. When are you going to get married?” But the question is: Why do you want to do that? Yes, you get some security from your other half, you share the finances, and if something happens to you and you get sick or can’t work, you can fall back on what your spouse has, and blah, blah, blah.
But, fundamentally, what is the purpose of getting married?
Let’s say some couple has been together for twenty-six years. Now, I don’t think they need to go to a church and make it formal. Pretty much, they’re married. As soon as those people who were together for twenty-six years get married, don’t be surprised if they get a divorce.Why? Because it feels like they have to live up to this list of what marriage is supposed to be, and they are not themselves anymore.
That’s the answer to the other question: why people get divorced. The message we’re getting doesn’t make it clear that it’s all right to be together for twenty-six years or thirty years or fifty years, gay or straight, and not be married. I’m telling you, it is okay. Then, if you decide, “You know what, this isn’t the life I want anymore, I’m living a lie,” then, as long as you’re up front, it’s all good. It won’t be easy, but it will be a hell of a lot easier than if you are legally bound.
What do you do if the person you meet who can fulfill what you need happens to wear stinky cologne or a terrible thong? Well, where do you draw your line in the sand? What are you willing to accept? Are you willing to accept the fact that there’s stinky cologne in your future? Or really bumpy-looking, bad-looking thongs? If you’re willing to accept that because there are five hundred thousand other things in that person that you adore, that’s your line in the sand. You can live with that, because you really think this person is terrific and maybe you can introduce him to some nice Armani or Tom Ford cologne, or buy her a nice smooth Wolford thong that actually works for her.
It’s all about who you really want to be—which brings us to the next chapter.
ASK WHOOPI
Should You Go Out and Seek Love or Wait to See If It Comes to You?
Why not just live? That way, if it comes, you’re great. If it doesn’t come, you’re great. Should you go out? If you want it, you can go look for it. We all need company at times, and we all need solitude at times. There is attraction, there is ego boost, there is sex, there is friendship and having fun with someone. But love? That isn’t something that necessarily shows up because you want it to, and it can take time to build. So go live your life and do all the things that you want to do; don’t wait for love to show up. When you are out there doing what you enjoy, it is more likely that love will show up.
CHAPTER SIX
Know Your Truth
P atience. Fortitude. Truth. Sometimes finding the right relationship can feel like searching for the Holy Grail. You have to be like a knight of the Round Table on his quest. You have to take your time, and you have to know your truth, and you can’t settle for tarnished treasure or cheap
Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas