Read If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN! for Free Online

you really want in a relationship.
    There’s no reason to settle. Sometimes that means spending some time with yourself and figuring out what you’re looking for—
not
what your family or your friends or community or society dictate to you, but what
you
really, deep down in your heart and soul as a freethinking individual, want.
    A big part of what drives many of us is women would love to be someone’s muse. We want to be the person who stirs creativity in the person she’s with. I don’t know if guys have that as much as women do, but the idea of trying to find that person you can inspire, whose creativity you spark so that he can create amazing things, and you’re just hip and wonderful and you’re living in this great bubble of happiness… well, I can tell you it just doesn’t happen all that often.
    Once I realized that being someone’s muse and inspiring him to greatness probably wasn’t going to be my life, I took a good hard look at what I was getting out of relationships and came to understand three things about myself:
    1. I should not ever live with anyone, because I just don’t have the patience for it. I’m very cranky around other people.
    2. If I’m looking for someone whom I can spark, it can take a really, really, really long time, so perhaps continuing to look for that, or trying tomanufacture that, is not the smartest thing and is a waste of my time and efforts that could be better spent elsewhere.
    3. I want to be my own damn muse, not someone else’s.
    Now, if I had been paying closer attention in my youth, I would have known that I don’t enjoy being with anybody hour to hour. I don’t want somebody with me all the time.
    When I first got married, I was young—too young—and I thought that getting married was what “normal” people did. I also had big dreams, even though it may have seemed ridiculous to other people at the time. I did pull it together, though, didn’t I?
    Everyone else wanted me to be something smaller than what I was. They didn’t know how powerful my dreams were. I was supposed to be a good wife and mother, and go to work and make money doing the most boring job imaginable (at least to me). The marriage was doomed from the start because I was never that person. I didn’t want somebody laughing at my dreams and hopes, or taking the liberty to tell me what I should be instead of asking me what I wanted to be.
    But back then, I didn’t know that it would have been okay to say, “You know what? I don’t want the kind ofrelationship where you get to tell me what I’m supposed to be and I have to listen to you and put my own desires on the back burner. The way I see it, we’re equals. I want this and this. What do you want? Okay, now let’s see if we can work it out so we are both happy.”
    No, I just went from zero to one hundred. Got married, had a baby—and I loved her as soon as I met her, as soon as she emerged from me. I liked being pregnant, but the part between being pregnant and holding the baby was pretty horrible. I guess it’s a shock to most women. And back in those days, when your water broke, they put you in a room by yourself, and then sometimes a nurse would come in and yell at you to stop making so much noise, because all you were doing was pushing a basketball through the eye of a needle.
    Back then, nurses were quite nasty. Nowadays, you have a party in the delivery room, but not when I became a mom. That’s why I never wanted to have another kid. No, thank you. That whole process was not a pleasant experience.
    Where were we?
    Finally, I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I kept coming back to the truth, what my gut was telling me: I didn’t really want to be married. I liked the idea of what it promised. Who wouldn’t? When you get married, people are so incredibly supportive, and they have the best expectations for you. Not just the family and friends who all idealize marriage as the be-all and end-all, but also theperson you’re