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semi-public place and give her a thrill. How hard is that?
“Jeeves, the immortal gentleman’s gentleman, said, ‘I endeavor to give satisfaction.’ An admirable quality in a servant, but in a lover one wants more. Passion, pleasure, titillation of all the senses, supreme delight and total fulfillment—these are what making love is all about.”
—Xaviera Hollander, Penthouse Letters , November 1988
    Most women’s fantasies involve some danger. The danger makes it exciting. The excitement is what she is seeking. Studies show that the adrenaline rush and endorphins produced from being frightened add to lustiness. Watch a scary movie together, ride a roller coaster together. I have also known couples who have a great time scaring each other with creepy masks, by hiding, by telling frightening stories . . . and they live lustily ever after, so there must be something to this.

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DO THINK LIKE A LESBIAN

OK, you figured out she likes boxers and you got some and are wearing them. You planned a play-date with a pirate theme and donned the cape and plume. Your dinner was delivered and was in-theme (somehow). The music on the stereo was mellow and, more importantly, to her taste. You are in bed now and it’s your turn up to bat with the body clit. Don’t dive for it . . . yet.
    When you get in bed with your woman, try to think like a lesbian. If you’ve ever watched two women together, they have none of the urgency that usually accompanies male/female sex. They are happy to take a leisurely stroll through the gardens of the flesh and, as a man, you should try to get yourself in that mind set.
    You must be willing to do a slow exploration of her body and you will find her erogenous zones. And even if you’ve been there and done that, do it again! And again, and again.
“Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.”
—Sharon Stone
    Start your journey by caressing every part of her body and watch her—watch for what she reacts to and what she doesn’t. Include massaging the head and scalp as this is excellent pre-foreplay (a relaxant) for many women. Knead, nibble, and squeeze the parts of the arms, the legs, and especially the thighs. Kiss the feet and lick the toes and don’t forget to lightly, or not so lightly, spank the ass. Pay attention then, and, when you are through with your journey, you will be filled with wisdom that, applied correctly, will make you a very rich person.

26
DO WAKE HER FOR SEX

Wake her up for sex. If you haven’t woken your lover for sex in the middle of the night, then you are missing something, and so is she. Especially if you went at it earlier, a second round in the middle of the night is very erotic for most women, but choose your timing. She’s not going to be so receptive if her alarm clock is set for 6:00 A. M.
“Many people who are classified as ‘oversexed’ are so filled with love for the human race that a beautiful body—and in particular beautiful sexual organs of both sexes—thrill them beyond belief.”
—Xaviera Hollander, Penthouse Letters , August 1998

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DON’T LET YOUR PARTNER BE TOO COMFORTABLE

People with a zest for life have zesty sex lives. Boring people generally have boring sex lives. It is sad, but it happens, that we start in a relationship with someone who indeed has a zesty approach to life, but one day wake up and find that he or she has become the latter—the boring person, with a boring sex life, and you find that you have been dragged along to that sad place. If what I said describes you and your partner, you must do something right away! Every day you live with that, you are accepting a second-class life.
    A boyfriend of mine had a peach tree which he grew from seed. When the tree was about ten years old, it was beautiful, but had never produced fruit. He consulted his agricultural specialist, an old Spanish farmer, who said, “The tree is too comfortable. Make it feel insecure. Beat it.” My boyfriend took a