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six-foot lead galvanized iron pipe and beat the daylight out of the poor tree. The following season it produced an enormous crop of fruit and has continued for many years. Now, I’m not suggesting that you beat your lover, but there is a lesson here somewhere.
    A man never looks so good to his wife as when another woman is noticing him. A woman never works so hard at her relationship (or more specifically, the sexual relationship), as she does when she suspects that her man might be getting bored with her. So, yes, too much comfort and safety can be a bad thing. On the other hand, you don’t want to put her on edge unless you are able to do it without threatening her heart clit. That’s not something to be messing with casually. You might take an extra long look at a passing woman, but you better come right around and comfort the heart clit of the one you are with, or the results could be disastrous. The heart clit is the consequential one. The others are much more forgiving.

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DO STUDY HER BODY

Learn her body as if you intended to sculpt it from memory. Even if some pretend otherwise (or especially if they pretend otherwise), every woman enjoys being with a man who can’t get enough of her. Every woman wants to have a lover who is totally into her body. One way of demonstrating how “into” her body you are is by studying it, scrutinizing it—use a flashlight if you think it helps. Make her giggle, make her gasp, and she will protest, but, underneath it all, she will be terribly flattered and likely to reward you in big way.
    Try sketching her in the nude. Even if you can’t draw well, you can be impressionistic, and flattering.
    Use edible body paint for some lighthearted play. Make sure that you are in fact using the edible, washable kind. A woman I knew well was shipped a box of body paints by a friend of hers with a note that said, “Have fun, you two!” and, within a week, my friend arranged a date with her lover for the express purpose of trying out the paints. His daughter was away, her kids were away, and the two of them got naked and got out the paints. Since he is a camera buff, the first thing he wanted to do was to take a picture of her with his name painted across her body. He painted “Humphrey’s Property” across her right ass cheek and going down her right leg. He took the photo. They laughed, and he went to get the wash-cloth. Then they learned that it was not washable and the two laughed till they cried over the trick her friend played on them. It took weeks of scrubbing before she got the graffiti off her body. So painting can be fun; just make damned sure it’s washable, and, better yet, edible.

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DO GET HER TO MASTURBATE FOR YOU

Some men feel very insecure about their masculinity when they see their wife or girlfriend masturbating. This is not the mentality of a great lover, however. The great lovers are thrilled and excited and would pull up a chair and say, “Please, let me watch.”
    Understand that for the same reasons men like to masturbate secretly, most women don’t want to be watched pleasuring themselves. This process, however, can shortcut your learning curve and thus shortcut the time to “mind-blowing” sex.
“Saying ‘everybody does it’ is not the right way to persuade a woman to do anything.”
— Xaviera Hollander, Penthouse Letters , October 2001
    So insist upon it, whether she likes it or not. Be very patient, tell her how happy it would make you, that you don’t like to pressure her, but that you won’t give up, and tell her that just the thought of her masturbating turns you on immensely. Negotiate with her, work on her, get her to the point where you have equal rights to her body, and, if you do it in such a way as to make the heart clit safe and the brain clit interested, she will comply.

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DO FIND HER EROGENOUS ZONES

Ears are often an ignored or underutilized erogenous zone. Both the lobe and the area behind the ear are hotwired to the nerves and