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Terrified, I try to squint away the image. When I open my eyes again, it’s gone, but for a few moments I’m sure I can still hear the persistent slap-slap of water as it laps against the concrete rim of the lake.
    By Monday morning, I’m just relieved to be going back to school. The previous night, I laid out my uniform and packed my rucksack – something I’ve never ever done, even before I was ill. I’m sleeping badly, and I wake early before my alarm goes off. I’m up and ready within half an hour.
    â€˜You’re keen, Becky,’ says Joe as I hurry into the kitchen and start sorting out all my tablets for the day.
    â€˜Course she is, Joe,’ Mum says. ‘Her friends have been back weeks already; she hasn’t seen them for ages.’
    I let them think this is why I’m so eager. It is partly true; although I’ve chatted to Leah, Jodie and Alesha online and they’ve invited me to parties and to go shopping with them, each time the thought of all the germs I might pick up stopped me going. I’m missing them now and I want to catch up on all the gossip first-hand. I’m even curious to see if Masher and Shannon are still an item, or if there’s been a ceremonial dumping. But the real reason I want to get back to school is that, just for a while, I’m desperately hoping I’ll be able to forget all the weird stuff that’s been happening to me over the last few weeks.

17
    â€˜Now, you’re sure you’ve got everything?’ asks Mum, pulling up to park a short way from the school gates.
    â€˜Yeah. Think so.’ I glance nervously through the car window at the hordes of kids thronging into the playground, laughing and shouting and chatting to one another. After so many months at home, I’ve forgotten how crowded and noisy schools are. I’m not sure I can do this, I think, panicking. Then through the sea of white, red and grey, to my relief, I spot Leah and Jodie, scanning the playground, looking out for me.
    â€˜Don’t forget you can text me if you need to,’ Mum’s saying as she eyes me warily. ‘You will do that, won’t you, Becky? Not that I think for one minute there’s going to be a problem.’ The corner of her mouth twitches up into a smile.
    â€˜I’ll be fine, Mum, don’t worry,’ I reply, determined to convince myself as much as her that I will be all right. But, gripping the strap of my school bag, I still hesitate, sittingrooted in the car seat and unwilling to take that first giant step out.
    I glance at my watch. Five to nine. It’s now or never. I fling open the door.
    â€˜Bye, then. Love you,’ I say, scrambling out of the car. I brave it through the school gates, hurrying over to Leah and Jodie. A gaggle of Year Seven boys chasing a football storm across my path, so intent on their game they almost knock me over. I step back out of their way, but bump into two older girls gossiping together.
    â€˜Watch it!’ the tallest one snaps as the other stares frostily at me through her purple mascaraed lashes.
    â€˜Sorry,’ I mumble.
    â€˜Becky!’ I hear someone call.
    I spin round. It’s Alesha.
    â€˜Becky! It’s really you!’ she yells, rushing forward to hug me.
    I’m really pleased to see her but I can’t stop myself: I draw back.
    â€˜What’s the matter?’
    â€˜Nothing,’ I lie. I force myself to hug her, secretly hoping she doesn’t have a cold or anything. ‘It’s so good to be back.’

18
    â€˜So I’m sure we’re all really glad to welcome Becky back to school after what has been a very long absence.’ Miss Devine flashes me one of her most beaming and gummiest smiles. ‘I think I can safely say we’ve all missed you. And I hope you’ll soon settle back into a routine, Becky, ready for next year when you start your GCSE courses.’
    â€˜Thanks, Miss Devine.’