Gooney Bird Is So Absurd

Read Gooney Bird Is So Absurd for Free Online

Book: Read Gooney Bird Is So Absurd for Free Online
Authors: Lois Lowry
saw Mrs. Pidgeon about to raise her grammar finger. "I mean, Barry won't have anything left. His poem gonna be short! "
    "Short poems are okay, though," Beanie pointed out.
    Barry wasn't listening to anyone. His face was scrunched up again in its thinking position, and he was writing very fast. "Done!" he announced.
    "Read it again, Barry," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "and let us hear your revisions."
    Barry stood. He read:
Things That Make Me Laugh
by Barry Tuckerman, great author
Cartoons that go
POW
and ZAP!
Jokes, like
Why did the moron?
Or Knock Knock!
And my goofy dog
Because once he chased a mouse
And when my mom threw a towel
Over them
They were both bumps under the towel,
The mouse scurrying
And my brave dog ready
to go
POW
And ZAP!
    The class laughed and applauded.
    "I used six spelling words," Barry said proudly, "and I wrote a good poem."
    Gooney Bird went to him and gave him a high-five.
    "Ouch," she said. "I should never do that when wearing a diamond ring."
    "The really impressive thing," Mrs. Pidgeon said, "is that Barry wrote his list poem without wearing anything on his head except his own hair.
    "Maybe hair is enough to warm the brain? What do you think, class?"
    But all the second-graders, even those who had not put on brain-warming hats, shook their heads. Even Barry shook his head. "I think I could have done my poem faster and better if my brain had been warmer," he said. "Tomorrow I'm bringing a hat."
    Mrs. Pidgeon laughed. "Well," she said, "all right. And maybe tomorrow we can work on a poem for different voices. That's a poem that we recite together, taking different parts."
    "Like a play?" asked Beanie.
    "A little like a play, I suppose."
    "I want a big part," said Chelsea. "I want to be a star!"
    "A superstar!" Malcolm said. He stood up and bowed deeply. "Thank you to all my many fans," he said.

6.
    A substitute! Mrs. Pidgeon's second grade class had a substitute teacher for the very first time. It was a little scary.
    Mr. Leroy entered the classroom with a tall, thin woman and introduced her. "Class," he said, "this is Miss Overgaard. We're fortunate that she was able to substitute at the very last minute. Mrs. Pidgeon has a serious emergency, and she isn't able to come to school today. But she says that she left lesson plans, and I'm sure Miss Overgaard will be able to handle everything just fine.
    "You'll let me know if you have any problems?" he said to the tall, thin lady. She wasn't paying any attention to Mr. Leroy. She had carefully taken off her coat, revealing a dark dress with heavy brass buttons, rather like a military uniform, and a pair of glasses dangling from a cord around her neck. Next she reached up to remove the hat she was wearing over her thin straight hair. Ignoring the principal, she hung her coat on the hook behind the door and then placed her hat on the shelf where the dictionaries were stacked. Then, lifting her glasses to sit atop her long nose, she began looking through the drawers of Mrs. Pidgeon's desk.
    "Well," he said. "I guess I'll head to my office. This is a fine class," he told Miss Overgaard as he turned to leave the room. "Very creative. Class?" He looked at the children. "See you later—"
    "Alligator!" they all responded.
    Miss Overgaard jumped. Mr. Leroy smiled at the second-graders, and the door closed behind him.
    All of the children, even Gooney Bird Greene, were silent. They watched as the substitute wrote her name on the board in large letters.
MISS OVERGAARD
    "Two a 's together?" Barry Tuckerman said aloud. "I never saw two a 's together before!"
    The substitute teacher clapped her hands. "I'll have no calling out!" she said in a firm, loud voice. "Please raise your hand and ask permission if you wish to speak."
    The room became silent.
    "Good. Now I will read your names from this list, and I expect you to say 'present' when you hear your name called." She began reading from the list, and each child replied.
    "Present," said Nicholas nervously.
    "Present,"

Similar Books

Flight

Sherman Alexie

The Mommy Mystery

Delores Fossen

Touch of Darkness

Christina Dodd

No One Loves a Policeman

Guillermo Orsi, Nick Caistor

By Chance Alone

Max Eisen

Creature in Ogopogo Lake

Gertrude Chandler Warner

Spark Of Desire

Christa Maurice

A Dark & Creamy Night

Eliza DeGaulle