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Beanie said, looking at the floor.
    "Present," Malcolm said loudly, wiggling at his desk.
    "Prethent," said Felicia Ann in a whisper.
    "Louder, please. More distinctly."
    Felicia Ann's face turned pink. "Prethent," she said again.
    The substitute teacher looked up from her list. "Repeat that, please."
    "Prethent," Felicia Ann repeated miserably.
    "Are you receiving speech therapy for your impediment?"
    "Excuthe me?" Felicia Ann replied.
    "You have a severe lisp. Is the speech therapist seeing you?" the substitute asked.
    Felicia Ann looked at the floor.
    Gooney Bird's hand shot up. "Permission to speak, Miss Overgaard," she said in a loud voice.
    The substitute nodded to her.
    Gooney Bird said, "Felicia Ann is missing

    her two front teeth. When they grow in, she'll speak just fine. In the meantime, we all think it's rather sweet, the way she talks. And also," Gooney Bird added, "I think it's rude to criticize something that she can't help."
    The substitute glared at her. "And you are—?"
    "I'm Gooney Bird Greene."
    "What kind of ridiculous name is that? And what on earth are you wearing? "
    Gooney Bird stood beside her desk and looked down at herself. "I'm wearing gray fleece sweatpants from the Gap, and a white ruffled blouse from the Goodwill store—I paid only eighty-nine cents for it and I think it was quite a bargain. I am also wearing bunny slippers, and under the bunny slippers I am wearing one red sock and one yellow sock, because I like a variety of colors; it amuses my feet. And I am wearing a leopard-print vest over my ruffled blouse, and I am wearing a paper Hawaiian lei that my parents brought home from a Polynesian restaurant.
    "I am also wearing fake pearl earrings, and in a minute I am going to put on my special brain-warming hat, which is pale green.
    "And my name is Gooney Bird, which is a kind of albatross, and my parents named me that because they thought it was unusual and they hoped I would be an unusual person.
    "Which I am," Gooney Bird concluded, sitting down. She looked up at Miss Overgaard and added, "Present."
    Miss Overgaard glared at her for a moment and then checked off her name in the book.
    ***
    The day did not go well.
    First, the substitute announced that she was allergic to all rodents and so the gerbil cage and the hamster cage both had to be removed from the room. Mr. Furillo, the custodian, came to get the cages and promised that he would care for all the class pets in his office; but still, the children could tell that all the gerbils and Harvey, the hamster, were confused and distressed as they were carried out of Mrs. Pidgeon's classroom, the only home they had ever known.
    Next, Miss Overgaard looked at Keiko, who was sitting quietly with her hands folded, and asked, "How good is your English?"
    Keiko looked up in surprise. "Well, I always get an A in spelling," she said in her soft voice.
    "I asked because you appear to be—well, I don't know which, Chinese or Japanese," said the substitute. "I thought you were probably an ESL student. English as a second language."
    "Permission to speak," said Gooney Bird again in her firm voice, with her hand raised.
    The teacher nodded at her in an irritated way.
    Gooney Bird stood, again, beside her desk, a "Keiko's American, same as me, and probably you too, Miss Overgaard, even though I bet your parents or grandparents came from some other country, because if you ask me, two a 's in a row is very strange—"
    "Not in Denmark," Miss Overgaard said with a sniff. "My parents came from Copenhagen."
    "Cool. Well, Keiko's grandparents came from Japan. Keiko can even speak Japanese, which is not easy, let me tell you. She tried to teach us some Japanese words for things and I can't remember a single word. Japanese is hard. "
    "Are you finished, miss?" the substitute asked.
    "Yes, I am," said Gooney Bird firmly. She sat down. "And don't call me miss. "
    Suddenly Tyrone burst into one of his raps. Sometimes he couldn't help himself. It was the way