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enormity of that sensation and nuzzled herself deeper into Rowan’s lap.
    â€œThey’re both alive and healthy,” Lily said gratefully. “They can hear me calling them, but it’s a long way. I can almost hear them, though.”
    â€œDon’t push. Try again when you’re healthier.”
    â€œI can’t believe how tired I am,” Lily said apologetically.
    â€œGrowing a new layer of skin takes a lot of energy. It’s best if you move as little as possible,” he said, stroking her hair.
    Through hazy eyes, Lily glanced at the mug of brew she’d just drunk, resting on her bedside table. “You drugged me, didn’t you?” she asked wryly.
    She heard a rumble deep in Rowan’s chest as he laughed, but she couldn’t stay awake long enough to yell at him.
    *   *   *
    By that night, Lily realized that she didn’t need to float into the Mist anymore. She wasn’t in pain, but she had questions for Lillian, and as usual, when Lily wanted Lillian even in the slightest way, Lillian knew. They met each other on the raft.
    Lillian?
    Yes, Lily?
    Why can I hear you so clearly, but I can barely hear Tristan and Caleb?
    We are the same, Lily. Our bond is much deeper than any other. That’s why I know you are the only one who can ever understand why I outlawed science and why I enforce that law so brutally.
    You said once that it all started with Rowan.
    Actually, it started with Mom, but I could never blame anything on her. You understand, because your version of Samantha is just like mine was.
    What happened?
    I still need that promise, Lily.
    I can’t. I can’t keep anything from him.
    Do you love him?
    What a small question. I’d die for him.
    But would you kill for him?
    I already have. I sent my army into battle for him.
    Then tell yourself that you’re doing this in order to understand me well enough that you don’t make the same mistakes I did.
    Very noble, but that isn’t really my reason, and I can’t claim that it is. I need to know because I need to know. You aren’t my friend or my sister—you are me, aren’t you, Lillian?
    Finally—you accept it, Lily. Yes, we are the same person in different circumstances.
    That’s why I need to know why I would hunt people down and hang them. Why I would murder Rowan’s father. Why, Lillian? Why would I do that?
    Promise me that Rowan will never know.
    Okay, Lillian. I promise.
    This is the moment everything changed for me …
    â€¦ Rowan gathers my curls up in his hands and twists them up behind my head. We’re in my study, but both of us would rather be in bed. It’s late and I’m tired, but there’s still so much to do. My technical college is facing a challenge I hadn’t anticipated. I was ready to fight the Council and my Coven for as long as it took until they accepted that my school would not only admit both citizens and Outlanders, but it would also offer full scholarships to those who couldn’t afford it. What I wasn’t expecting was that there would be such low Outlander enrollment.
    â€œThere’s your neck,” Rowan says, and runs his fingers down my nape. “I thought I’d lost it under that mane forever.”
    â€œI’m trying to work,” I plead through a breathy laugh, already turning to jelly. I look up at him. “Why wouldn’t every intelligent Outlander want to go to college for free?” I ask pathetically.
    â€œBecause the loss of a healthy, intelligent young person is a big blow to any tribe,” Rowan says quietly, still running his fingers over my throat. “Everyone would try to talk that person out of it.”
    â€œBut it means a better life,” I say, still looking up at him with pleading eyes.
    â€œFor that person,” Rowan replies. “But not for the rest of the tribe.”
    I sigh and drop my head, letting him run his fingers through