cares for her, thinks about her, and how much he’s looking forward to time alone with her.
Women respond very positively to words and touch that convey feelings of love and affection. Women seem to like words about love, sex, and relationship and feel they’re very important. Often, men don’t have feelings as strong as women about verbalizations of love.
If you’re a guy who feels uncomfortable with words, we humbly suggest that you practice — a lot. Nothing will get you more of what you want than being able to verbalize feelings of affection for your woman. Read a book or two, and write out what you want to say. Practice letting the words tumble over your tongue and lips. Now, say it out loud to your partner. Try something like this: “Honey, I’m having trouble concentrating at work. My heart is swelling with thoughts about your soft skin, your bright eyes, your sweet scent. Please don’t be wearing much when I get home early.”
By the way, Ladies, guys like romantic words like this as well.
INTIMACY IS A TURN-ON FOR WOMEN
Intimacy is the emotional closeness that truth-telling and feeling loved can bring. For most women, it heightens their turn-on when a man talks about his feelings with honesty and heartfelt expression instead of blame or judgment.
Intimacy can also be about sharing fantasies and playing them out. Often, the fantasies lurking inside are pretty kinky, so lovers can feel uncomfortable sharing them with their beloved. But getting past this inhibition is exciting on multiple levels. The truth-telling is a turn-on because of the increased sense of closeness. Plus, the content of most fantasies can really get your sexual motor going big time. Of course,
if your lover’s fantasy is a turn- off to you, don’t pretend that it gets you going, but don’t judge it either. Simply keep looking for a fantasy that you both love.
PRACTICE: INTIMACY COMMUNICATION
Women tend to enjoy 30 to 60 minutes of loveplay, while men may request and desire less. Only you can know how your body responds and what feels best.
This practice asks you to discuss, as specifically as possible, the types of loveplay you like and the amount of time you like it. Go over the following questions separately, and share your answers. Let the dialogue flow until you both feel heard and understood.
By the way, this is a starting place. As you become more practiced in these ways, you may want three to six hours of loveplay. Who knows how far you’ll go?
1. COMFORT
Do I give or receive most comfortably?
2. PRACTICE
I would like to practice receiving (or giving) more…
3. HONESTY
Sometimes, I’m not honest with you about what I really want. Here’s an example…
4. TIME
The amount of time I usually like to spend in loveplay is…
5. KINDS
The kinds of loveplay I like best include…(touching, massage, kissing, talking, fellatio, cunnilingus, etc.)
CHOOSE THE MOOD YOU WANT
One wonderful way to accentuate the sanctity of your love and the consciousness of your underlying passion is how you disrobe. Slowly remove each other’s clothing one little piece at a time while caressing,
nuzzling, and whispering sweet endearments to each new morsel of flesh that is uncovered.
Perhaps you’ll want to bathe together. After a day of busy life activity, this is a wonderful transition to a more sensual mood. Bathe, soap, rub, and slide with each other. Flirt and tantalize with all your parts: lips, eyes, fingers, tongue, breasts, genitals, and any other part of your body that wants to join in. This is how you create heaven on earth.
Spend some time unwinding by just being together. Look deeply into each other’s eyes. Synchronize your breathing. Reach out with your consciousness to feel your beloved’s energy.
A practice that we do often is called the melting hug. You slowly come closer together until your first contact. Then you melt your bodies into each other with as much skin touching as possible. Relax and