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you want and then, complain afterwards?
    Wait for that magical moment when something outside of yourself will sweep you away?
    The truth is that whether you’re female or male, you’re 100% totally responsible for your own arousal and orgasms. Of course, we don’t mean that all good lovin’ is self-lovin’, but great sex is a dance in which it takes two to tango.
    There are still too many men who think they’re failures if their women don’t have an orgasm. There are too many women who don’t have a clue what will make them feel the ultimate in sexual pleasure. No matter how much you have to learn about your subtle orgasmic triggers and keys to ecstasy, the more you talk with your partner about what you want, the quicker you’ll both learn what you can do to get it.

    EXERCISE: COMMUNICATION DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
    Ifeel these sexual needs are understood and appreciated…
    Iwant my beloved to better understand…
    Ifeel shy or embarrassed talking about…
COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE
    As a marriage counselor for many years, Jeffre has learned that the single biggest reason women get turned off to sex (after religion) is their fear of telling their men the truth about their sexual responses, desires, and wants. If you want to deepen and supercharge your sex life, communication must begin at the beginning. That’s where the following practice, How To Touch Me, picks up — at the beginning.
    Going deeper with communication throughout your loveplay helps tremendously to create intimacy as well. When receiving, women need to explain what they desire, what they feel, and how they’re reacting. Although this is true of men too, our focus right now is on preparing women for female ejaculation.
    Partners in general, and men in particular, do not appreciate being in the dark (figuratively, of course) when they’re trying to please you. They need and want to feel confident that they’re successfully turning you on.
    Women are not only different from each other, but they’re different from one moment to the other. This is confusing to the average guy who’s always trying to learn what women want. You’ll be better off if you just accept these observations as fact:
    No two women’s sexual response is identical.
    Women like variety — different things at different times.
    Hormones change at different times of the month, which can alter a woman’s sexual response.
    Emotional beings like women have unpredictable moods, which can also alter sexual response.
    Sensitive bodies, like female ones, may respond strongly to stress, exercise, medication, health challenges, and menopause.
    Okay, guys, you’ve been warned. Assume nothing!

SPEAK UP AND ENJOY
    Are you familiar with that common mental refrain “Am I doing it right?” or the verbal one, “Did you come yet?” These worries stem from self-consciousness and concern about your own sexual performance.
    But if you enter into sex without expectations, any such performance anxiety disappears. Your sex becomes a conscious dance of energies, and no longer will you have to worry about what’s happening with your partner and if he/she is enjoying your touch. It’s like synchronized swimming with telepathic communication.
    Good lovers know that they’re each responsible for their own pleasure. They recognize that erotic experiences begin within. They know what they like, what they prefer in the moment, and what to pass on during each encounter. They’ve explored all pleasure triggers and know when and how they want to be stimulated. They ask for what they want, voice their reactions, and give lots of feedback. And they do it in a way that enhances intimacy and contributes to the sensual mood.
    Obviously, this kind of authentic interplay requires knowing, accepting, and loving yourself fully. Then you can be completely honest, totally real, and refreshingly transparent with your innermost desires — which leads to knowing, accepting, and loving your partner. And