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here,” I was ready to lose myself yeah
I know tomorrow I will regret it but tonight I could for a short time pretend
that it didn’t make my skin scrawl when a man touched me because…I was numb and
when I’m numb I can handle it…
     
    About ten thirty I stumbled through the door of the
Fraternity and I wasn’t alone. Zack and I had been having a little party of our
own and I was completely wasted as he held me up. One of the other guys in the
house hollered over his shoulder in our direction as he was leaving, “Dude you
seriously want to get your ass beat don’t you…better hope Kole isn’t home.” I
was coherent enough to hear Kole’s name and I looked at Zack as he threw me up
over his shoulder and began climbing the stairs.
    I knew the moment I was on the bed because he had
basically dropped me and then pulled his shirt off before he fell onto the bed
himself. I was so messed up and knew it. I barely realize he was even kissing
me. I felt like I was fading in and out. I could feel my shirt being tugged
off, “Damn you are so fucking hot.” I wanted to tell him to stop talking I
didn’t want to hear him…but once again I faded. This time when I opened my eyes
I felt his hand going into the front of my pants which had been unzipped and
were now barely up. I was numb fading into darkness.
    There was a pounding coming from the hallway and someone
yelled, “Unlock the fucking door now or I’ll bust it in.” After a few more hard
hits I knew it was Zack’s door someone was beating on. “Stay here…right like
that. Seriously don’t move…damn...I’ll be right back,” He crawled over me and
went to the door. When he opened it someone pushed passed him hard and light
spilled in from the hallway. I felt myself being lifted and moved. Someone had
wrapped something around me and then I was again put down carefully onto a bed.
A large cover was brought over my body then I felt the bed shift next to me
like someone had sat down. I was fading again and had no energy to look in that
direction.
    I fell into the darkness…

Seventeen
    (Kole)
    “She’s asleep…she can stay in my room. Someone better
tell Zack to stay away from me because I seriously feel like beating his
fucking ass right now,” I ran my hands threw my hair.  Radley laughed, “He
left real fast Kole, when he saw the look on your face after you found Lexi he
bolted, I have this feeling we won’t see any more of him tonight.” Radley
placed his hand onto my shoulder and squeezed before he led Megan to his room.
    I slowly opened my door and went back into my room. I
could barely see her under the big cover. I slowly lowered myself onto the bed
next to her. She was passed out and there wasn’t anything that would wake her
from the current state. The room was barely lite from the fish tank light but I
could see the side of her face. Lexi was lightly snoring and I had to admit it
was really cute…she wouldn’t think so I’m sure. I let my mind wonder back to
the earlier phone conversation.
    I was starting to put things together and had a sick
feeling that I already knew what had happened with Matt. The thoughts that ran
through my head since I hung up actually had my stomach in knots. I knew I
wanted her to talk to me…I wanted to hear it from her. I also realized that the
chances of that happening were slim.
    I finally fell asleep after watching her and listening to
her breath for over an hour. She was really a beautiful girl. I let my mind
wonder back to when we were younger and I would give her piggy back rides to
the ice cream store right down the road from her house while our mother’s sat
on the porch talking.  Back then she seemed so small and young. I guess
the three year difference really didn’t seem like much now. The little crush
she had on me then was so innocent. Now the attraction was definitely mutual…I
could feel it every time I looked at her. I don’t know if it was lust or
something more but for the first time I