Read Deliriously Happy for Free Online Page B

persona to the public. In other words,
    a.   the host shall be responsible for maintaining an adequate supply of beverages and snacks in accordance with known preferences of the visitor, such beverages and snacks to be offered and served by the host in the traditional manner;
    b.   in order to prevent a de facto living-together situation,
    i.   the visitor shall not stay overnight in the host’s residence more than three (3) days in a row, nor more than four (4) days in any one seven-day period, barring an emergency at the visitor’s residence, including but not limited to: fire, painters, plumbers, an especially heinous crime within a two-block area, or mice, in which case the maximum stay shall be extended to not more than six (6) days;
    ii.  combined overnight visits in either residence shall not exceed five (5) in any one week, nor fifteen (15) in any calendar month; and,
    iii. at the end of an evening in which an overnight stay is anticipated, that evening’s prospective visitor shall not suggest to the prospective host that they go “home” nor use a similar locution.
    c.   In the event that a misunderstanding, altercation, or mood makes an anticipated overnight stay suddenly ill-advised,
    i.   the visitor, and not the host, will implicitly acknowledge this fact by announcing, “Well, I’ve got to be going,” in a cheerful, non-recriminating manner, while
    ii.  at no time will the host question the visitor’s motivation for leaving, nor use force to prevent his exit, or to hasten it.
    2.   Intimacy will become all but inevitable over time; however, please note:
    a.   it should not be confused with love, and
    b.   may involve the release of emotional, historical, or medical information which is private and privileged, and should not be divulged
    i.   to “best” friends over lunch, or
    ii.  during family or police interrogations, or
    iii. before gatherings in bars or at parties, even if said information is presented in a jocular fashion which “nobody took seriously.”
    3.   Love is a funny, unpredictable thing, and as such follows a timetable all its own. If past experience is any guide, declarations as such are meaningless anyway. But the futility of love in a loveless world notwithstanding,
    a.   should I come to love you (keep those fingers crossed), you will be informed
    i.   first in writing, most likely in the closing of a letter or card, or perhaps on a balloon, and then,
    ii.  orally, at some later date,
    iii. both these conditions being necessary to constitute a lasting and abiding love.
    b.   Should you come to love me before I am able to make a co-declaration of same, you should
    i.   exercise restraint in your declarations, as
    ii.  more than three (3) unreciprocated declarations of love within a forty-eight-hour period shall be considered harassment.
    c.   Any declaration of love shall be considered in effect and at full strength unless and until it is rescinded explicitly.
    d.   Any repeated request for a redundant declaration of love, if granted, shall not then be vitiated on the grounds it had to be coerced.
    4.   Previous loves, as much as we try to leave them behind, will inevitably show up at parties, funerals, and other social occasions. Should this occur, all I ask is
    a.   a three-by-five (3 x 5) inch card, spelling out in clear, block letters
    i.   his occupation and estimated salary,
    ii.  a general description of looks and size,
    iii. the beginning and end dates of the relationship,
    iv. any emotional or physical “firsts,”
    v.  reason for dissolution, and
    vi. whether you ever really loved him,
    b.   such information provided with sufficient time for me to recuse myself from the proceedings with