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childhood—has become surrounded by a masculine shell of fear: “Because my love-light is inadequate, I’ll direct my life toward success so I am worthy of love.” In your teenage years, a feminine shell of fear is then added: “Unless I make my surface shine, boys won’t notice me.”
    Already, as a teenager, the love-radiance of your true feminine essence is hidden behind a masculine shell of protective and assertive directionality and a feminine shell of superficial “see me,” lack of self-worth, and covert manipulation of men’s attention.
    Beneath all your shells, your deep heart is always full of love’s light. So, at heart, showing open as light and flowing open as love’s offering is the most ecstatic and true way to live. But your acquired shells have their own voice: “Beauty is only skin deep.” “My mind is more important than my body.” “I can’t trust men.” “If I want a man’s love I’ve got to make him want me.” “My professional goals are more crucial to my life’s happiness than who I go with or how much love I offer through my life and every breath.”
    These are all lies, and your deep feminine heart knows it. Yet, you are confused, because your shells can be so strong. You can come to believe the lies of your shells, and therefore, you can live an entire life betraying your deepest desire: to be recognized as light, adored and worshipped as love’s radiance, offering yourself as a gift of love to be claimed by true divine masculine integrity, ravished open to God by love’s deepest claim of your heart.
    Perhaps you try to trust a man and he eventually leaves you. Again you feel betrayed, so now, again from fear, you build yet another shell—“independent career woman”—that will protect you from being hurt or left in the cold by a man’s untrustable commitment. If your career is an expression of your love, then your heart can be fully offered through your profession. But if you are building a career because you are afraid of being hurt and abandoned again, then fear is woven into the foundation of your choices, and your career will always be tainted by doubt, loneliness, stress, and lack of heart-fulfillment.
    Your radiant feminine heart of love may now be surrounded by a shell of masculine impetus (because your sister was prettier than you or masculine values were more important in your family), which is surrounded by a shell of feminine gloss (because your surface is what boys look at), which is surrounded by a shell of masculine ambition (because you are afraid of being financially dependent on a man again).
    These shells may have become rigidified in your body, so your orgasms are shallow and your face creased with tension. These shells confuseyour mind with conflicting desires, now for independence and safety, now to be swept off your feet by a dangerous man, now to succeed on your own. These shells block your genuine emotional currents, so you feel stuck, sometimes numb, sometimes enraged, sometimes hysterical, but not very often does your deepest ocean of love-light spontaneously emerge as free, unobstructed waves of heart-open emotional flow, with the universe or with a man.
    Furthermore, your shells attract men with reciprocal shells, men who have long ago lost touch with their deep masculine heart of truth, purpose, and impeccable loving. Shells of lies surround your crushed heart, so you attract men who are also crushed at heart and who are surrounded by lies. These men lie not only to you, but also to themselves. These men live a lie, just like you do.
    Probably, deep in your heart, you dream of being with a man of great integrity, a lover of such care, strength, humor, wisdom, and depth of love that you can trust him utterly, surrendering wide open to be blissfully taken further open by love’s ravishing force, so your deepest heart is exposed to God’s infinite joy, and your body blooms in uncontrollable waves of divine pleasure.
    And yet, you may feel