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you anywhere.
    If you have a feminine sexual essence, then you are turned on by a lover who sees the beauty of your heart’s light and who feels your love’s depth, worshipping your radiant heart with his integrity, passionately claiming your life with his strong presence.
    A person who has a masculine essence revels in challenge, facing death, and overcoming all odds to succeed in a mission of freedom, whether that is a quest for financial, political, artistic, or spiritual liberation. Even watching sports—which are ritualized wars, challenges, or fights for freedom—can be so emotionally moving that a masculine-essence person often shouts and screams more during a football game than while making love. Is this more like you, or more like your lovers, past and present?
    Most (but not all) women have a sexual essence that is more feminine than masculine, although the exact proportions vary and each person’s sexual essence is unique. Though you may enjoy using your masculine gifts to succeed in the world, deep down you probably have a more feminine essence that yearns for the flow of love more than a fight for freedom, although you may still feel uncertain about what you really want.
    Your masculine “go” and feminine “flow” can be gifts, but they can also be used to create shells of safety and protection, confusing you and preventing your true sexual essence from offering your deepest love and gifts to your man, your family, your friends, and the world. You can inadvertently hidebehind your schedule book and the challenges of your career, while your true sexual essence yearns to be seen and touched, your body aches to be taken, and the deepest heart of your love remains unnoticed and ungiven.
    You can seem stressfully concerned about where you are going in your life, even though, deep down, you may be much more concerned about who you are going with and how love is flowing. You can get caught up in the masculine fight toward liberation and your mission toward freedom, even though the deep bliss of love, or its lack, is much more central to your feminine heart’s fullness.
    Your concern for career and self-sufficiency is obviously healthy, but your deepest fulfillment may await risking your heart wide open, offering your bright love to all beings, and giving yourself to be claimed—by a man of integrity, by a family of beloveds, by a world that needs your love. Love is the only way to live that won’t leave your feminine heart feeling unseen, ungiven, empty, and wanting—no matter how successful your professional life may be.

9
Your True Heart and Its Shells

    Like every man or woman, sometimes I want to flow and enjoy feminine energy and sometimes I want to go straight ahead toward a goal in the masculine style with no interruptions. But my sexual essence happens to be masculine, and so I am attracted to you, a lover with a feminine essence.

    I know what I want sexually from you, dear lover. I want to see your feminine light and feel your invitation to merge with your feminine energy. I want to enter and claim your feminine heart open to God. I want to inhabit your loving surrender and open in love’s bliss with you not simply as friends, but as lovers in the play of passion and ravishment.

    And yet I often feel you closing down or pushing me away. Sexually, I sometimes feel your coldness and resistance more than your joy of surrender. I know that sometimes it is my fault. I have been insensitive or cruel. And I know sometimes you are just too tired to open. But there are times that I don’t feel your heart open to receive my love even when you seem full of energy and I am fully present with you.

    I want to enjoy deep sexual loving with you, but I also want both of us to open for the sake of everyone. I want our bedroom to be a palace of bliss, but I also want our hearts to give their gifts all day, so we live as the fulfillment of love, always opening, feeling everyone, making love through all our daily