blue translucence of new snow. But in one corner of Gillianâs room, by the gilded Italian chest of drawers, the light seemed to have pooled. Coalesced. Concentrated. As if reflecting off a mirror.
There wasnât any mirror.
Gillian sat up slowly. Her sinuses were stuffed up and her eyes felt like hard-boiled eggs. She breathed through her mouth and tried to make sense of what was in the corner.
It looked like⦠a pillar. A misty pillar of light. And instead of fading as she woke up, it seemed to be getting brighter.
An ache had taken hold of Gillianâs throat. The light was so beautiful⦠and almost familiar. It reminded her of the tunnel and the meadow andâ¦
Oh
.
She knew now.
It was different to be seeing this when she wasnât dead. Then, sheâd accepted strange things the way you accept them in dreams, without ordinary logic or disbelief interfering.
But now she stared as the light got brighter and brighter, and felt her whole skin tingling and tears pooling in her eyes. She could hardly breathe. She didnât know what to do.
How do you greet an angel in the ordinary world?
The light continued to get brighter, just as it had in the meadow. And now she could see the shape in it, walking toward her and rushing at the same time. Still brighterâdazzling and pulsatingâuntil she had to shut her eyes and saw red and gold after images like shooting stars.
When she squinted her eyes back open, he was there.
Awe caught at Gillianâs throat again. He was so beautiful that it was frightening. Face pale, with traces of the light stilllingering in his features. Hair like filaments of gold. Strong shoulders, tall but graceful body, every line pure and proud and
different
from any human. He looked more different now than he had in the meadow. Against the drab and ordinary background of Gillianâs room, he burned like a torch.
Gillian slid off her bed to kneel on the floor. It was an automatic reflex.
âDonât do that.â The voice was like silver fire. And thenâit changed. Became somehow more ordinary, like a normal human voice. âHere, does this help?â
Gillian, staring at the carpet, saw the light that was glinting off a stray safety pin fade a bit. When she tilted her eyes up, the angel looked more ordinary, too. Not as luminous. More like just an impossibly beautiful teenage guy.
âI donât want to scare you,â he said. He smiled.
âYeah,â Gillian whispered. It was all she could get out.
âAre you scared?â
âYeah.â
The angel made a frustrated circling motion with one arm. âI can go through all the gobbledygook: be not afraid, I mean you no harm, all thatâbut itâs such a waste of time, donât you think?â He peered at her. âAw, come on, kid, you died earlier today. Yesterday. This isnât really all that strange in comparison. You can deal.â
âYeah.â Gillian blinked. âYeah,â she said with more conviction, nodding.
âTake a deep breath, get upââ
âYeah.â
ââsay something differentâ¦.â
Gillian got up. She perched on the edge of her bed. He was right, she
could
deal. So it hadnât been a dream. She had really died, and there really were angels, and now one was in the room with her, looking almost solid except at the edges. And he had come toâ¦
âWhy did you come here?â she said.
He made a noise that, if he hadnât been an angel, Gillian would have called a snort. âYou donât think I ever really left, do you?â he said chidingly. âI mean, think about it. How did you manage to recover from freezing without even needing to go to the hospital? You were in severe hypothermia, you know. The worst. You were facing pulmonary edema, ventricular fibrillation, the loss of a few of your bitsâ¦.â He wiggled his fingers and waggled his feet. That was when Gillian realized
Marion Zimmer Bradley, Diana L. Paxson