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dropped his candy. I had almost finished my lecture; I had almost fulfilled my duty by telling them everything. But, the sandcastle got destroyed before I could finish.
    Neither she nor I uttered a word until we got home. Elif used a tissue to wipe away the blood and her tears. I thought of stopping at a gas station and proposing she wash her face, but I kept my silence. At home, having still not uttered a word, I surrendered myself to the darkness and slept in our room alone.
    I was relieved when I woke up from my deep sleep. What had happened during the program no longer loomed as large; I had done my best and made an effort. I had already made significant progress on my first day of publicity: I had appeared on a live TV program and promoted my book. But I couldn’t wrong Elif. I couldn’t take the risk of losing her for any reason, especially for a book or fame. I decided that she was jealous of me; I even felt my manly pride flattered by her fear regarding my possible fame. There was no need to make a fuss out of this; she had been hurt, albeit accidentally, and she deserved a big kiss, my forgiveness, and my sympathy.
    As the raw light of the morning slipped into the room through the curtains, the door opened and Elif, in all her simple beauty, entered the room. She spoke, first hesitantly, then more quickly. She told me that I had been right and had done the right thing and that she had acted wrongly because of jealousy on her part. When she finished, I relieved the tension in the air by saying, “Let’s just forget about it!”
    Later that day, the station manager called the house and told Elif that the previous night’s show had garnered incredible ratings. The channel, having seen the show’s market share, had now decided on a new format in which everyone would display his or her talent in a show called the Big Brother Mystery show or BBM.
    They believed such a program would garner a lot of buzz and everyone would benefit. I would even be given a portion of the ad revenue as a reward. The publishing company had already agreed to come on as one of the sponsors, thus increasing our earning potential. Elif joined me in my excitement as she explained that this program, which could last for weeks, would make me famous and give me more opportunity and time to promote my ideas.
    The more she talked, the more enthusiastic I became. I knew that my first instinct to join the show had been the right one. She left the room happily, saying that she was going to pack my suitcase. I sat opposite my half-opened window inhaling the brisk air of the morning and drinking my coffee. I sank into meditation, and then came dreams…
    I awoke to the door opening and saw light from the corridor silhouetting Elif’s form. She walked in, taking delicate steps toward where I sat, facing the window. Elif’s hand touched my shoulder in a gesture of approval and support to show her wish for my success. “Everything is ready,” she said. Her words hung in the air as we sat together by the window in silence.
     
    * * *
     
    I checked my suitcase and the things Elif had packed for me. She hugged me sadly and I felt the warmth of her head as it lay on my shoulder. She let out a deep sigh and used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears. I didn’t understand why she was so upset. This was her fate as well, and she had been just as excited as me at the news of the opportunity.
    Elif helped me dress in my best clothes, combed my hair, and walked with me to the parking lot, trying to keep pace with my happy steps.
    As usual, Elif drove. My happiness, and enthusiasm prevented me from settling down in the passenger seat. Despite the heavy traffic, the gray-black asphalt, wet from the rainfall the night before, flowed rapidly under us. We seemed to be okay again. When I reached out to switch to another radio station, she threw me a glance followed by a little smile. She loved me. No matter how tired she got of my attempts at success, she