Read Castles for Free Online Page B

be there to help me out.
    Grandma would've let me back in. I knew that, but I also knew she would have told me stories of the evil tongue that grows in the mouth of a man.
    I ended up spending the night against the maintenance shed, looking out at the desert beyond the fence. I curled up as best I could and was thankful the night wasn't as cold as it had been before. In the distance, a sliver of the moon hung over the Bus, taking me back to a more innocent discovery: death and the dust eels. It was comforting to think about that, and as my cries lulled me to sleep, it was something to dream about.

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    As the sun rose, Alfie pulled me up by my arms from my resting place by the shed. I went willingly, consigned to a beating, more screaming, and the need to clean up the mess on my face before it got worse. On the way back to the trailer, Alfie didn't say a word. His grip was strong, and I knew he was just as mad as Mama.
    Mama was asleep on the couch. She didn't have to go into work that day and I wasn't about to go to school with a cut on my face I'd have to explain. I sat down at the kitchen table. I wanted to cry, more out of fear than anything else.
    Alfie reached into the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. He opened one and set it down on the table in front of me.
    "Drink up." He smiled and sat down in the chair next to me. "You look like you need it."
    I'd tasted beer before, but never really liked it much. I still don't, but I'm not averse to drinking every once in a while. As I nervously put the beer to my lips, my hand shaking, I suddenly felt Alfie was right. I needed it.
    "You're a pretty girl," Alfie said. "You're growing in all the right spots."
    I tried to smile, but found myself taking another drink.
    "Michael knows it, and I have to say he's a lucky boy."
    I wondered where this line of conversation was going. Sure, it was Mama who didn't want me to see Michael again, and Mama who was convinced I was a slut. Alfie had never said any words to make me think he shared in Mama's convictions or even noticed Michael at all.
    I looked up at Alfie and watched him lick his lips before taking a drink.
    " Watch the tongue of a man. " Grandma's voice was back. I could hear it as loudly as I heard anything else—Alfie's words of admiration, Mama's heavy breathing, the air conditioner in the back of the trailer. I closed my eyes and tried to shut out her voice.
    "I'm sorry," I said. I figured if I talked, I might be able to drown out Grandma. "I didn't mean to go out last night."
    "Sure you did." Alfie smiled at me. I looked in his eyes but couldn't find any anger. "You wanted to be with another man, and feel him inside of you."
    I was uncomfortable sitting at the kitchen table talking to Mama's boyfriend about anything. Talking to Mama's boyfriend about sex made me squirm in my seat and take another long drink. I set the bottle down on the table. It was empty.
    Alfie laughed and grabbed another bottle for me. I didn't hesitate. "I can teach you some things," he said. I felt his hand brush against my jeans. "There are things you should know before you get into bed with Michael."
    Mama stirred. I prayed she'd wake up and yell at me. She didn't even have to yell at me, just roll over and open her eyes. It would have been enough, I think, to get Alfie's hand off my leg.
    He rubbed my thigh, and I took another drink.
    "I don't need to know anything," I said. I could hear my voice crack. "I won't do it again."
    "Yes, you will."
    I looked at the bottle in front of me, and pictured it flying through the air and striking my cheek. In an instant, all the pain I hadn't felt since waking up now rushed to my face. I took that as a good enough signal to get up and go to the bathroom.
    "Where are you going?"
    "To wash my face. I'm hurting."
    I could feel Alfie stare at me as I walked through the living room, and I'm sure his eyes were aimed at my butt. I quickened my pace, reached the bathroom and slammed the door.

4
     
    Mama