it.
“Are you really sure about appearing in the play? You shouldn’t let Tohko bother you, you know.”
His handsome face still turned away, Akutagawa murmured in a soft voice that crept into my heart.
“Sorry for worrying you. But when Tohko asked me to do the play, it made me want to try something different than I normally do. I was stressed out about all this stuff and felt really scattered, so actually I’m glad she asked.”
“Is this about your grades?”
His breath caught slightly.
I wasn’t sure if I should be asking about this. Trying not to overstep any boundaries, trying not to disrupt the delicate balance we had, I chose my words carefully, knowing I was taking a risk and unsure of myself, as if I was stepping onto thin ice.
“Are you sure there isn’t something else bothering you? Like girl problems? Or something?”
As soon as I said that, my heart rate increased, and I regretted it.
If he acted upset at all… But his expression didn’t change.
“Why would you think that?”
“Because girls are all over you. Do you have a girlfriend?”
I remembered Sarashina’s face. Her long silky hair, her spotless, gentle countenance, her frail voice.
Please, I want you to ask Kazushi if there’s another girl.
I didn’t think that Akutagawa was the type of guy who would cheat, but…
“No.”
His voice was a little hard when he answered.
“Oh. That’s a surprise.”
“It shouldn’t be.”
Maybe he didn’t want me to know about Sarashina. Was he embarrassed? Or was there some other reason he couldn’t talk about it?
“What about you, Inoue?”
“Me? No. Unlike you, I’ve never even had a girl ask me out.”
“You and Amano seem pretty close. You’re not together?”
I lurched.
“Cut it out. That, at least, is never going to happen. I’m Tohko’s snack master—I mean, her gofer. She’s always ordering me around. She abuses her underclassmen. She’s a tyrant.”
I made that much clear.
“I see. Then what about—” He started to say something, then muttered, “Never mind.”
I wondered what he’d held back. What did he start to ask me?
“So what’s your type, Akutagawa?”
I tried a more roundabout approach this time. Akutagawa bowed his head thoughtfully.
“I don’t think I have a type, per se. But—”
He paused, and his eyes grew melancholy again.
“If a girl shows me a side of herself that surprises me, I’m hooked. Like if I see a girl who’s usually strong and willful crying when she’s alone.”
That sounded pretty specific for just an example. Akutagawa’s heart must have been touched by the tears of a strong-willed girl who seemed like she would never cry.
I suddenly recalled the vulnerability Kotobuki had shown when she was in the hospital.
She was always cold, so when her head was downcast and tears had filled her eyes, I’d been shaken. When I remembered the way she had looked in that moment, it made me a little nervous.
I doubted that Akutagawa had fallen for Kotobuki or anything like that, though.
But wait—Akutagawa’s girlfriend Sarashina wasn’t the strong, stubborn type, was she? Or maybe she looked quiet but was actually rambunctious like Tohko? If all you did was look at her, you would think Tohko was just a demure book girl, after all.
“And you? What’s your type?”
When he asked the question so suddenly, I was stuck for an answer.
There was no way I was going to open up about the dear girl Imissed so much, who floated through my mind like a phantom. My chest felt like it was going to rip open.
“No clue,” I muttered, forcing a smile.
I hadn’t noticed the air growing dark and chilly, and our inky shadows bobbed across the lamp-lit asphalt. We started discussing harmless topics and then went our separate ways.
How many letters have I sent you now?
I got emotional in the letter I sent the other day and wrote some harsh things, which I regret.
I had forgotten that even now you’re in the midst of a long,