about now. But I live in an
imperfect world.
“Sidney, I’m sorry. So you aren’t afraid of me? You’re afraid of my touch because
of her?” he questions. His eyes are searching my face once again as if he’s trying
to figure me out.
I nod and a tear escapes, rolling down my face. The look he’s giving me tells me that
he wants to wipe the tear but is physically holding back doing so.
“She died a few weeks ago. That’s why I moved here. I watch Leta downstairs to live
here and earn a little extra money. Now, why are you in my apartment?”
He rubs his cheeks with each hand before he answers me. “First of all, I’m glad the
woman is dead or I’d probably kill her myself. Second, I happened to be walking by
your door and it was ajar. Since it was so late, I worried why you had left your door
open. When I peeked in, all the lights were on, but you were sleeping. I was turning
the lights off when I heard you whimpering in your bed. Just when I was about to slip
out, you jumped from the bed and headed to the shower. I knew if you saw me, you would
be terrified, so I just hid.”
“Oh.” That’s all I have. And Tina thought my social skills were improving.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Sidney.” The way he watches me makes me want to believe
those words. Nobody has ever told me that I’m beautiful.
My heart flutters wildly. And then reality sets in. I’ve seen myself naked, and now,
so has he. My body is marred with the scars of my past. I’m ugly and damaged.
“Get out,” I tell him calmly, looking away from his gorgeous eyes. I’m breathing heavily
from the emotions rolling through me.
“What? Sidney, no—”
“GET OUT!” I scream.
He flinches from my tone and steps a few paces back. Looking me over once more, he
nods curtly and storms from the room. When I hear the front door slam, I know I’ve
successfully gotten rid of him.
Now that he’s gone, my heart hurts and I succumb to the confusing emotions, allowing
myself a good cry.
I wake up Saturday morning feeling drained and hung over. My head is throbbing out
of control. Damn Tina and the stupid wine. So not only do I have a terrible hangover
and am still replaying the events from last night, but it’s also laundry day. I loathe
laundry day.
After I dress in another lightweight summer dress, I eat a few crackers to keep from
throwing up. The thought of getting sick makes me think of Nurse Momma and I shudder.
Forcing terrible thoughts from my mind, I gather up my dirty clothes and toss them
into a basket.
I wonder if I’ll see Liam again. Something about him unnerves me and draws me in at
the same time. He’s maddeningly beautiful and he smells delicious. If there were ever
anyone I actually wanted to touch me, it would most definitely be him. Too bad I’ll
never be able to allow that to happen.
Stepping into the hallway, I don’t see him, and his door is closed. I’ve probably
ruined any chance at a friendship with him. My social ineptness caused me to flip
out on him when he was only trying to look after me. It’s just so weird to go my entire
life with nobody looking out for me and then, suddenly, they’re coming out of the
woodwork. I’m overwhelmed by it most definitely.
Seeing the door to the stairwell, I grimace. I fucking hate the stairwell. Feeling
a little pumped up with my inner cussing, I shakily make my way to the door. I push
open the door and am hit with the familiar disgusting odor. More light enters the
stairwell through small windows near the ceiling. It only showcases the cracked and
mildew-covered walls.
With shocking speed for someone carrying a full laundry basket, I hightail it down
the stairs, holding my breath, until I reach the basement door. I fling it open and
gasp in the damp air that has a hint of detergent in it. The laundry room in the basement
is the least of my worries. It’s the damn stairwell that scares