Read Against God for Free Online

on the dashboard reads eleven
     fifteen, you drive aimlessly, straight in front of you, a traffic light about a
     hundred metres away, it turns red, but you don’t slow down, but you keep going,
     but you drive right through the intersection and feel little surprise when the
     other car hits you on the passenger side, it shakes you up a bit but not too
     much, you take your time getting out, the other driver, in his fifties,
     approaches, furious, he wants to know why you didn’t slow down, why you didn’t
     stop for the red light, his questions tumble over each other, punctuated with
     many a flourish, you listen calmly, wearing an ambiguous grin, as though biding
     your time, and when he finally stops to catch his breath, it’s your turn, your
     words slurred because
    - Didn’t expect that, did ya? Thought you’d be home in ten
     minutes in your warm bed like usual! No reason for it to be any different,
     right? But I was here, that’s all it took. I came out of nowhere. That’s the way
     it is, my man! That’s the way it is!
    of the alcohol, he stares at you then, bewildered, finally he seems to clue
     into the fact that you’ve been drinking, you reach for your cell phone, he asks
     what you’re doing, you tell him you’re calling the police, you tell him not to
     worry, you’ll tell them it was your fault, no problem, but he’s not the least
     bit reassured, in fact he starts getting genuinely alarmed, he stammers there
     must be a way to settle this without involving the police, c’mon, why complicate
     matters, and he hands you his business card, and he invites you to call him
     tomorrow, you open your eyes wide, surprised, then you understand, you give a
     knowing look, he doesn’t want his wife to know he was in the City tonight,
     that’s it, or he has drugs in his car, or something along those lines, isn’t
     that right, and he finds the allusions even more distressing, he shoots a hunted
     look at the couple of curious bystanders watching off to one side, then he steps
     up to you, reiterates that the cops mustn’t come, promises he’ll pay you
     tomorrow, you study his fear then, yes, his fear, next you slide his card into
     your pocket, tell him he can go, and the guy sighs, he thanks you, he shakes
     your hand, but you raise a finger, add that you won’t call the police tonight,
     of course, but tomorrow, you just might, who’s to know,or the
     day after tomorrow, or another day, who knows, or never, actually you have no
     idea, you’ll have to see, it will depend on your mood, in any case, you have his
     card should you need it, and all colour drains from the guy’s face as he
     listens, you put a hand on his shoulder, your voice is unctuous but
    - From now on, it’s me who’s got the power to screw up your life . . . or not . .
     . You’ll have to go about life knowing you don’t call the shots . . . That’s
     what lucidity is. You’re a lucky man.
    final, and he’s on the verge of tears, he insists, he’ll give you loads of
     money if you’ll just call him tomorrow, he swears, but no cops, no, not the
     police, you’re already getting into your car, you drive off, without looking
     back, but after eight or nine blocks, the engine hiccoughs, sputters, the fuel
     gauge on empty, but you just filled it up not long ago, you park at a fast food
     joint that’s open twenty-four hours, you get out, peer under the car, see gas
     dripping to the ground, must be a crack caused by the collision, so you abandon
     your vehicle and start to walk, your hands in your pockets, you pull out the
     guy’s business card, look at it for a minute, then tear it into small pieces
     that you drop behind you, the breeze is light but freezing, you turn up your
     coat collar, you reach a busier boulevard, pedestrians, cars, a nightclub
     disgorging dozens of patrons, must be the end of a show, you stop, you watch
     them laughing and talking among themselves, you sigh, then you pull out your
     cell