Read Against God for Free Online Page B

maybe
     you’re remembering just how much Alexis loved coming to Montréal to take the
     metro, just like you when you were a kid, I even remember that you used to dream
     of driving the metro, yes, all that may be crossing your mind, finally you
     choose a direction, the platform is almost deserted, rush hour is over, the
     train stops in front of you, you step inside, remain standing, holding onto the
     centre pole with your right hand, the train rocks its way through the tunnel, a
     couple sits across from you, a baby stroller in front of them, an old woman sits
     farther up, the young couple murmurs sweet nothings, the young couple smiles,
     the young couple kisses, the young couple is alone in the world, as for you, you
     eye them witheringly, and you turn to look at the stroller, and you see the
     sleeping baby, and you turn back to the couple, to their smiles, to their
     cooing, to their kissing, then the train stops, the doors open, no one stands to
     leave, the couple still lost in loverland, the couple oblivious to one and all,
     you give the stroller a pushthen, quick but firm, and the
     stroller rolls outside a second before the doors close, the couple must realize
     then something’s amiss nearby because at last they stop devouring each other
     with their eyes, turn to look, jump to their feet, glance frantically left and
     right, finally the woman sees the stroller on the platform and starts to scream,
     slowly the train starts up again, the man’s hands tear at the doors, the train
     already in the tunnel, the woman’s screams, and her tears, and her cries for
     help, suddenly the man wheels on you to ask what happened, you say nothing, you
     gaze calmly at the two of them, he asks a second time, shouting, panic-stricken,
     hysterical, in stark contrast with your calm, your silence, your fascination, he
     grabs you then by the collar, shakes you, asks if you’re the one who did this,
     his eyes rolling in rage and incomprehension, and his spouse grabs for the
     emergency lever on the wall, practically pulls it off, twice, three times, but
     nothing happens, no bell rings, the woman shrieks that it’s broken, you can’t
     help a strident laugh then, devoid of gaiety, the harshest sound to have ever
     crossed your lips, and your voice is as empty as
    - What were the chances of that alarm not working? One in a thousand? In ten
     thousand?
    your life, the guy punches you then, a right hook to your left cheek, and he
     bellows asking whether you’re crazy, whether you’re the one who pushed the
     stroller, you fall to the floor, he kicks you twice, you take the beating, you
     make no move todefend yourself, you don’t budge, you feel the
     metro stopping, you hear the woman scream at her spouse to hurry, they’ve got to
     catch the train going the other way, running footsteps, cries and sobs growing
     distant, the train starts up again, slowly you get to your feet, just in time to
     see the couple make a dash for the platform stairs before the train vanishes
     into the tunnel, you sit, rub your bright red cheek, your aching belly, the old
     woman farther up eyes you in horror, you ignore her and stare into the
     emptiness, then you get off at the next station, take the stairs to street
     level, the heart of downtown, a light snow falls still, you walk aimlessly,
     cross streets without looking, are honked at several times but you don’t react,
     you peer at each business you pass, restaurants, clothing stores, movie
     theatres, jewellery shops, then the DVD store, you enter, a score of people
     browse through the movie aisles, four TV screens all broadcast the same picture,
     you find the sports section, for a long time you look at DVDs on hockey,
     baseball, car racing, then you take first one, then another and another still,
     and since your two hands aren’t enough to carry them all, you fetch a basket and
     you fill it, the cashier flashes a big smile, asks if you won the lottery, but
     getting no