apology. "Sorry." My heart hammered in my chest as I just stood there hoping that maybe if I didn't move, she'd forget I was there, had ever been there.
"You coming in?" Rainy asked with a smile.
My heart slowed. Rainy was the same. She wanted me to come in. It wasn't a one-time-thing. I nodded and shrugged my shoulders like it wasn't a big deal, like I didn't need a friend, like I hadn't had a stupid day or a stupid life.
Rainy jerked her head toward her house. "Then get your butt in here." I tried not to smile too big as I walked up the steps. Her eyes followed me and she said, "Told you I'm lucky." She opened the door wider so I could come in. "Got a few customers this time, but they're regulars."
Other people? I broke out into a sweat. My shoulders hunched together as if trying to hide my neck. I took a deep breath and reminded myself not everyone had seen the Most likely to die alone yearbook page. I was a good thirty miles from my home town and my past. I had to remind myself this had been the visions' doing, those pictures had brought me to Rainy, and that maybe God or the universe wasn't just bored by my life, but maybe thought it could be something more. Something better.
I walked into the tea shop, grinning at the high-ass cat on the sign again. There were three people in the shop, an old man sitting by himself and two women sitting on the couch. The man held one of the old books in his hand and slurped at his tea as he read. The women looked like they were cut from the same cloth as Rainy, stretchy earth-colored cloth.
Rainy bypassed the old man and led me to the couch area, motioning me to sit in the chair I had occupied the other day. My blood froze in my veins. She wanted me to sit across from these people? My eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape, an exit. Sitting across from people meant talking, talking meant awkward, awkward meant losing Rainy. I couldn't do it.
"I -- oh! I forgot I --." I stumbled over excuses.
Rainy didn't even acknowledge my odd ramblings. She said, "I'm going to make you some Sunny tea, Sun!" She laughed and her teeth glimmered in the dusty light of the shop. "I decided to use the nickname anyway. I like sounding like Mr. T." She disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me alone with the ladies.
I looked at them and swallowed. The motion of swallowing seemed to contort my face into a smile because the women smiled up at me. I plopped down on the chair, as if my pants were heavy and water-logged like the other day.
"Sunny, was it?" one of the women said.
I nodded.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Lizzy and this is Anna." The woman with dirty-blond straight-ish hair pointed to herself and then her friend with dark wild curls. "So how do you know Rainy?"
I nodded again. I knew it was the wrong response, but being all I could think of, I was stuck with it. My cheeks started to go red, I could feel the heat traveling up up up from my neck. The fear I might say the wrong thing was as palpable as if there had been a man with a knife to my throat, threatening me not to say a thing. Words flew through my mind. I could say.... Nope, weird. What about...? Naw, too personal. Oh, there's...! What if they think I'm lame? Sigh. Nothing seemed right. I looked to the kitchen in desperation and willed Rainy to come back. I needed her.
"I -- we." My voice cracked. Cracked! Like a freaking teenage boy. My thumbnail scraped against my fingertips nervously. I could just picture what these poor women were witnessing. A pudgy girl in ill-fitting clothing and skin that was turning close to the color of her hair. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. When I opened them, Rainy walked back into the room, carrying a mug and teapot for me.
"Sunny hates my fence. She keeps coming around, trying to break it and I keep forcing her to drink tea." Rainy winked at me.
I wanted to hug her. She poured tea into the mug and handed it to me. I hugged my hands around that instead and listened as the women