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started chatting.
    I discovered Lizzy taught yoga when she looked at me and said, "I teach yoga." She flourished her hand over her body as she said that. At first, I thought it was totally vain, like she was saying, "Obviously. Look how awesome my body looks, fat girl." But by the way she giggled, snorted a little, and pulled at her black pants and flip flops, I realized she was making fun of her wardrobe.
    I pressed my lips together and my shoulders relaxed a bit. Until, that is, I remembered my Signs of Signs check. Yoga. The bag with the yoga mat came next. My heart started pounding in my ears. I looked frantically around the room and my eyes stopped on a bag, the bag, sitting on the floor next to Lizzy. Did this mean I should take a class or something? Immediately after that thought, I started having a slight freak out. I couldn't do yoga, but the bag was here with Lizzy. My mind kept repeating the word "different". I sighed and decided to listen in on what they were talking about to get more information about this yoga stuff before I committed.
    Anna and Rainy were students of Lizzy's. That's how they all knew each other. Right away, I realized that I wanted what they had. I wanted to be happy, to have friends, to make fun of myself ironically, but not really have a problem with who I was like they did. It was like seeing my heart's deepest desire through The Mirror of Erised in the first Harry Potter (I fully embrace my dorkdom, I know). I cocked my head and watched them, mesmerized as they talked about their latest class and some man they called, "Mr. Yoga". While Lizzy was small and super-fit, the other girls... weren't. It's not like they were fat. Not at all. They weren't constantly pulling up their pants and down their shirts like me. They were strong, sturdy, and I got the distinct impression it would be really hard to push them over.
    I sipped my tea as I thought. I always assumed everyone who did yoga weighed ninety-seven pounds and could bend their body into a pretzel the first day. These girls, they looked normal. Like me. Well, sans the uncomfortable muffin top and evil bloaty feeling.
    Plus, their clothes, the stretchy, let's-go-on-a-hike-then-go-to-dinner look, well, it looked really easy and fun. I scrunched my nose up at my khaki pants and stupid clearance shoes. My pants were too tight, because that's what you get with khakis, they're either too tight or too loose. I'd pretty much resigned to the fact my underwear line would always show through them. That's just what happened, right? My shoes were uncomfortable, even though they were touted as "ergonomic work wear." My toes curled in on themselves inside the hot, brown, cages and longed for the breezy Birkenstocks or Teva sandals the other girls wore.
    "Have you ever done yoga?" Lizzy asked. As she smiled, her tight, tan skin wrinkled slightly.
    My face turned red. I'm pretty sure the fact I had never ever done yoga was even obvious to the guy reading in the corner, but I didn't say anything. I shook my head.
    She dipped her chin. "You should try it. I've been studying yoga for years and I've seen it turn people's lives around, especially people who thought they'd never try it."
    My cheeks felt hot. I pressed my lips together, all too aware I should be saying something at this point. Every time I tried, all I could hear was kids teasing me about my muteness ringing in my ears. Silent Sunny, silent Sunny. Their maniacal laughing still hurt as I remembered it. The difference now was that at the same time I was drowning in terrible memories (reasons to stay hidden, to give up) I kept seeing that yoga bag vision (telling me I should go). I felt pushed back and forth, ripped in two.
    Rainy must've seen my struggle because she piped in, telling me that she'd been doing yoga for four years and Anna had joined their class just a few months ago. A few months? Another misconception I'd had of yogis is that they must've been doing it since forever. But Anna,