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Princess Diaries

    SHOWALTER  STOPPED  BY  YOUR  LOCKER

    TO GIVE YOU A WHITMAN’S SAMPLER

    FOR VALENTINE’S DAY?????? MWA HA HA

    HA!!!!

    It isn’t funny!!!! He did it right in front of Michael!!!!

    Well, good. There’s nothing wrong with letting my brother know he has a little competition. Michael doesn’t have any competition for my affections! He knows I only like Kenny as a friend.

    Yeah, but does KENNY know that?

    I’ve only told him, like, 900,000,000 times. Oh, God, why did he DO that???? Because he looooooves you. What did the card say?
    Valentine Princess 9 61

    Bee my Valentine. And there’s a picture of a bee. MWA HA HA HA! Give me one. No! They’re mine!
    Oh, COME ON. You don’t even like cream-filled chocolate.
     

    I do, too!

    You do not. You only like the crunchy toffee ones. Come on, fork one over.

    Go get your own stalker to give you candy. Kenny’s mine.

    Selfish.

    Ha! You’re one to talk.

    What do you mean by that?

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    Nothing.

    No, seriously. Why am I selfish?

    What are you going to do if Boris gives you a Valentine’s Day gift? A really nice one?

    He wouldn’t dare. We already talked about it. And I told him I’m opposed to Valentine’s Day on ethical grounds.

    Yeah, well, you Moscovitzes might think you can tell people what to do. But some of us have minds of our own.

    What is THAT supposed to mean?

    Nothing.

    You’re psycho. Almost as psycho as your grandmother. Who I saw on David Letterman last night with some creepy astrologist who was going on about how Tom Valentine Princess 9 63

    Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to get together. Like THAT’s ever going to happen. I mean, Tom’s WAY too old for Joey!!!!

    Okay. I seriously have to do something about Grandmère. This is getting out of control. Well, maybe just one more day . . .

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    Friday, February 14, Lunch

    Tina just reminded me of something I forgot:

    KENNY  SHOWALTER  IS  A  LEO!!!!

    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Friday, February 14, G &T

    Lunch was totally magical today!!!!

    Okay, first of all, Tina and I were in front of Lana in the lunch line again, and while we were standing there, Lana’s cell phone rang, and she answered it, and was all, “Oh, hi, Josh,” in this gross syrupy voice. And so I looked at Tina and pretended to stick my finger down my throat, you know, like I was barfing. Which cracked Tina up. But then Lana’s voice got all high-pitched and wobbly, and she was like, “What do you mean, you pulled a groin muscle?” and it turned out Josh was calling her from the Cabrini emergency room, which is where he was taken after third period when he could no longer take the excruciating pain in his upper thigh a second longer. Apparently, he’d pulled something at basketball practice the night before, but the throbbing didn’t get really bad until Trig class the next day.

    Which just goes to show that nothing good ever comes from canceling plans with a girlfriend because 66 9 The Princess Diaries

    suddenly you got a date, the way Lana did to Trish when Josh asked her out. Karma really is a bitch.

    “Why didn’t you apply heat to it immediately?”

    Lana demanded.

    But we never got to hear the answer to that, because I guess that’s when Josh broke the news that he had to stay home and ice his groin and wouldn’t be able to take Lana to One if by Land, Two if by Sea for their romantic fireside Valentine’s dinner. I swear they must have been able to hear Lana’s anguished scream all the way down in Battery Park City.
     

    As if that weren’t perfect enough, as Lana was calling Josh terrible names for wrecking his groin on their first Valentine’s Day as a couple, the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili came by with his tray, and Lana f lung out one arm a little too dramatically, and hit the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili’s