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Xavier's Xmas
     
    Amber Kell
     
     
     
     
     
    Merry Christmas to my fans
    or for whatever holiday you celebrate.
     
    The Christmas lights twinkled cheerfully on the tree as Xavier tossed back a glass of Scotch. Why he bothered to decorate this year he didn't know. There was no one to enjoy it with. For the first time in years he was celebrating the holidays alone. He supposed he could call his cousin or a couple of friends, but that took more energy than he had with half a bottle of alcohol and depression weighing down his soul.
    Memories of a pair of smiling black eyes had him reaching for the bottle again. A generous splash hit the bottom of his glass.
    Damn he missed Frankie.
    He didn't think when his friend split he'd miss the guy so much. His roommate of three years had found a boyfriend and left him weeks ago. Two long weeks that felt like an eternity of loneliness.
    Blinking back tears, Xavier rubbed his chest with his right hand, not letting go of the glass.
    "Shit, why didn't I ever tell you I loved you?" he whispered to the empty room.
    A truth he didn't figure out until after he helped Frankie pack everything he owned and leave him for another man. He really couldn't blame Frankie. The guy didn't know how he felt. Xavier kept his feelings buried so deep even he hadn't realized how much he cared until the cheerful, skinny kid was gone.
    It was probably for the best.
    He'd only rented the room to stave off loneliness in his enormous family home. A home that now echoed the emptiness of his heart. It was almost as if the house was pining for the younger man too.
    He'd met his ex-roommate at a gay bar down the street from where he lived. Hearing Frankie talk to some friends about needing a place to crash, he offered the younger man a temporary room in his house. Temporary turned into three years. Three years of living with a spontaneous man who approached each morning as if something fabulous was going to happen.
    Not being a morning person, Xavier had always hated how Frankie woke up cheerful. Since his roommate left, it was one of the things he missed the most. Now no one cared what time he dragged himself out of bed, and the cat hadn't figured out how to use the espresso machine so he had to make his own morning coffee. To give the cat credit it helped to have opposable thumbs.
    The phone rang, shattering the haunting quiet of the house.
    He snatched up his cell phone, wondering who’d be calling so late. He quickly hit the connect button when the readout listed Frankie. "Hello."
    "Xave?" a teary voice said over the line.
    A cold knot settled in Xavier's stomach at his ex-roommate's tone. "Frankie, what's wrong?"
    "C-can I come home?"
    Xavier’s heart slammed against his chest in a panicky rhythm.
    "Where are you? I'll come get you." He'd have to call a cab but he wasn't going to leave his love in tears. Anywhere.
    "I'm outside."
    Xavier stood up so quickly his head spun, or it could've been the effect of the alcohol.
    "Shit." He shouldn't have drunk so much. Stumbling towards the door he wrenched it open to find his ex-roommate standing in the doorway with a suitcase by his feet and a bag slung over his shoulder.
    "Thank God you're home." The younger man flung himself at Xavier who barely caught his balance in time. The pair of them stumbled a few steps backwards before he was able to brace himself.
    He gave himself a moment of indulgence as he breathed in the scent of Frankie, absorbing the feel of him in his arms.
    "What happened?" he whispered, not wanting to disturb the moment, but curious about the location of the amazing boyfriend that had filled the younger man's world the last few months.
    Sobs filled the room.
    "Hang on." He propped Frankie against the wall, dragged his suitcase inside, closed the door, and took the bag off of the distraught man's shoulder. He set everything by the entrance and gave his roommate a friendly shoulder squeeze. "Come tell me all about it. I have some Scotch."
    Frankie