Read X-Treme Latin: Lingua Latina Extrema for Free Online Page B

cheap bastard.
    Carrus exsecrabilis est! Venditor te irrumavit!
    What a great car! You got a heck of a deal!
    What a piece of shit! You got taken to the cleaners!
    Aspice hanc supellectilem vilem. Quale gurgustium est.
    Fabulous house—I love your taste.
    Look at this cheesy crap. What a dump.
    Rotaturne capitulum huius, virus exspuens viride?
    Well, now, really, isn’t that the cutest baby you’ve ever seen?
    Does its head spin around and spit green slime?
    Speciem scurrae habes. Spectaculum petauristarum bestiarumque nescieGam adesse.
    Dynamite outfit! It really looks good on you.
    You look like a clown. I didn’t know the circus was in town.
    Amicus tuus expers rationis est. Viculus nescioquis barone suo privatus est.
    Your boyfriend is a great guy. No wonder you’ve been keeping him to yourself.
    He’s a total moron. Somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot.
    Amica tua est originis extraterrestrialis. Si fortuna tibi faveat, cum astronavem suam ista refecerit, a terra tuaque vita discedet tam cito quam fulmen ascendit.
    Your girlfriend is a knockout. Talent, beauty, brains—she has it all.
    She’s a space alien. If you’re lucky, when she gets her flying saucer fixed, she’ll be out of here and out of your life in a flash.

Stealth Latin for Golfers—
SERMO LATINUS CLANDESTINUS IN LUSU CALEDONIO
    Quod fustuarium!
    Nice swing!
    What a hack!
    Salaputium fortunatum!
    Great shot!
    You lucky fuckhead.
    Seligatur clava imprudenter
    Be the right club.
    Be the wrong club.
    Pilula, curre in harenariam et defode te.
    Hurry up ball, get some air! Be there!
    Get in that bunker and bury.
    Vola! Aberra! Egredere praeter terminos!
    Stop! Hit something! Stay in play!
    Go! Get lost, ball! Go out of bounds!
    Immerge te in aquam!
    Stay dry!
    Get wet!
    Decurre ab area leni in gramen densum!
    Sit down! Bite!
    Run off the green into the rough!
    Transili puteolum!
    Go in the hole!
    Lip out!
    Euax!
    Aww, too bad!
    Hurray!

Bad Latin, the Dirty Dozen—
SERMO LATINUS IMPUDICUS: DUODECIM OBSCENA
    asshole
culus, i m.; podex, podicis, m.
    balls to be blown & to blow
coleus, i m.; irrumo, irrumare fello, fellare; ligurio, ire; (verpam) comedo, esse, edi, estum
    to bugger butt
pedico, are clunis, is m. & f. (clunes, ium); natis, is f. (nates, ium); puta, ae f.
    cock
capulus, i m.; cauda, ae f.; cicer, is n.; clavus, i m.; cucumis, eris m.; falcula, ae f.; fascinum, i n.; gladius, i m.; hasta, ae f.; membrum, i n.; mentula, ae f.; peculium, i n.; radix, icis f.; rutabulum, i n.; sicula, ae f.; telum, i n.; verpa, ae f.; vomer, eris m.
    cunt
aratiuncula, ae f.; cunnus, i m.
    fart, to fart
crepitus, us. m.: strepitus, us m.; crepo, crepare, crepui, crepitum; pedo, pedere, pepedi, peditum; strepito, are
    to fuck
concumbo, concumbere, concubui, concubitum; futuo, futuere, futui, fututum
    to jerk off
frico, fricare, fricui, frictum (fricatum); percieo, ire, ivi, itum; sollicito, are; tero, terere, trivi, tritum; tracto, tractare
    piss, to piss
urina, ae f.; meio, meiere, mixi, mictum; mingo, mingere, minxi, minctum
    shit, to shit
fimus, i m. & fimus, i n.; merda, ae f.; stercus, oris n.; caco, are

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Published by Gotham Books, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
    First electronic edition, December 2004
Copyright © Henry Beard, 2004
All rights reserved
    Illustrations copyright © James Sherman, 2004
Gotham Books and the skyscraper logo are trademarks of
Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
    MSR ISBN 0-7865-5369-3
AEB ISBN 0-7865-5370-7
    Set in Dante MT and Trajan
Designed by Sabrina Bowers
Without limiting the