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You’d be with your own mom. Your biological one, I mean.”
    “That’s not really possible.” I push myself away from the table. “She’s dead. What’s your excuse for not living with your mom?”

Chapter 6

Ashtyn
    I didn’t answer. I couldn’t, because I’ve never been able to say out loud why my mom’s not living here anymore. Truth is, she left because she got sick of being a wife and mother. I don’t talk about my mom with anyone, not even Landon.
    I should have known better than to ask Derek about his mom. I feel awful that I brought it up. If I knew his mom wasn’t alive I wouldn’t have mentioned it. His answer hung in the air long after he cleared his plate and left me alone in the kitchen. I wanted to call him back and apologize, but ever since I laid eyes on him my defenses have been up and my mouth has gone into overdrive.
    Julian looks at Derek as if he’s some superhero. I can’t mention football without my sister mentioning that Derek played. Then she wants me to entertain him. Next thing I know my dad’ll probably start watching football games with him.
    I wanted to kick myself for attempting to look into his eyes more than a few times tonight. It’s not because I’m attracted to him. It’s because they’re a unique color, that’s all.
    When my dad told me Brandi was moving back home, I hoped maybe we could become a family again. I imagined Julian and I would immediately bond. Instead, thanks to Derek, my nephew thinks I’m his crazy aunt. It’s time I change that perception.
    I find Julian in my sister’s room, playing with a handheld video game.
    “Hey, Julian!” I say.
    He doesn’t stop playing. “Hi.”
    “I know Derek said I was crazy, but I’m not.”
    Julian looks up from his game. “I know. He told me he was joking.”
    “Good.” I sit next to him. Besides his blond hair, he’s the spitting image of Nick. Supposedly Nick left my sister after he found out she was pregnant. I don’t think she’s seen him since, which means Julian has never met his biological father.
    “Can I have a hug?” I ask him.
    He shrugs.
    “All right. Well, when you feel like giving me one, I’ll be waiting for it. Okay?”
    He nods, his attention still on the game.
    I sit with him for fifteen minutes, until my sister comes in and tells him to get ready for bed. My sister acts like our argument in the kitchen didn’t happen, but it’s still fresh in my mind.
    Landon hasn’t called me, even though we’re supposed to hangat the beach tonight. I walk to my room, close the door, and call my boyfriend.
    “Hey,” Landon answers.
    “Hey.”
    “Sorry I rushed out of Dieter’s meeting and didn’t call. I had to get home to help my mom with some stuff,” he says.
    “So you’re not upset?”
    “About what?”
    “The captain thing. I totally expected you to get voted captain, not me.” I know he did, too. I can’t help but feel twinges of guilt, like I took his spot even though I had nothing to do with it.
    “Whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
    But it is. I guess I’m waiting for him to say I’ve worked hard and deserve to be captain just as much as anyone else, but he doesn’t.
    On top of the captain thing, my sister’s homecoming and the argument I had with her are totally stressing me out. “Can we hang out alone tonight? My sister came home this morning, and I guess I’m just having a hard time with it.”
    “Everyone’s meeting up at the beach,” Landon says.
    “I know, but I’m feeling kinda . . . I don’t know.”
    “Listen, you were always pissed your sister left. Now she’s back. You should be happy, Ash. You got what you wanted.”
    It doesn’t feel how it should, though. “You’re right.” I don’t want to be the whiny girlfriend. Landon told me that his ex-girlfriend Lily, who goes to our rival school in Fairfield, complained all the time. He’d said nothing was ever good enough for her andshe smothered him to death. I told myself I’d never be like