possibly up to 60 percent if your mother was terminal and paid low premiums. Then Iâd net 10 percent of her settlement. So, if she was worth at least a million bucks dead, I could walk away with sixty grand if I was lucky. I admit I was hoping for this best-case scenario; I was saving up for a new BMW.
âHer policy would pay $250,000,â you said, âbutââ
I cut you off, glancing at the door. âYou know Iâm not running a charity.â
âMineâs two mil.â
I paused. âWhat?â
You flashed me a triumphant smile. Your teeth were a dentistâs dreamâstraight, white, clean. âI work in television for one of those reality survival shows. Before I signed up, I made sure I got one hell of a life insurance policy for my family in case I didnât make it.â
That explains the teeth, I thought. You proceeded to tell me that in your quest to raise money, your financial adviser informed you that you were sitting on a pot of gold with your policy. Youâd never heard of the secondary market for life insurance before, but were fascinated to find out that it was a thriving trade. You could sell it like any other asset for major cash to a buyer who would take over paying the premiums until your death, when that person would receive your benefits. It was morbid, yes, but it was exactly the solution you needed. You were so proud of yourself for figuring it out that I hated to deflate your enthusiasm.
âThereâs just one little problem,â I said, twisting my cigarette stub into my frosted glass ashtray. âYouâre not dying.â
You raised an eyebrow. âAs if thatâs a bad thing?â
I sighed. Your innocence was charming, but tedious. I was around fifteen years older than you, but the gap in our levels of cynicism couldnât have been wider.
â Every investor wants to make a profit as fast as possible. This is a business of quick turnarounds. But you could live another sixty years.â
âSo youâre saying no one will want it?â
âIâm sure I could find a buyer. But you wonât get the settlement you want.â
âHow much?â
I shrugged. In truth, you were a terrible client. âAt best maybe a hundred and fifty grand.â
âThatâs only half of what I need! You have to do better. Who are these buyers, anyway?â
âHedge funds. A few specialize in buying up old and sick âlivesâ so their risk is minimized in this shitty economy. These guys are making a killing.â I smirked. âPun intended.â
You rolled your eyes without the consolation of a smile.
âThe only guarantees in lifeââ I started.
You sighed. âAre death and taxes, I know.â
âAnd the former has no loopholes.â
âVery funny.â Your curled upper lip revealed your disgust. âWhatâs it like to get such a kick out of other peopleâs misery?â
âLucrative.â I knew I was being a jerk, but I was so numb then that I didnât care. âWhatâs it like to be humorless?â
âUgh.â You stood up, your nostrils flaring. âIâll find someone decent to help me.â
âIâm the only life settlement broker in the Keys,â I said, lighting another cigarette and drawing a deep puff. âYouâre stuck with me.â I coughed on the exhale, failing to cover my mouth because it happened so often I didnât even notice. At least smoking quashed my appetite and kept me as thin as a gym rat (which I was absolutely not).
You threw me one last revolted look. âThen Iâll drive to the mainland.â
Your shoulders slumped as you walked away, and I felt a momentary pang. As tough as you seemed, even you couldnât hide your pain.
You grabbed the doorknob.
âWait,â I called. âIâm sorry. I didnât mean to insult you.â
You turned around to glare. Your wispy