you to hesitate. Or you may not want to say no because youâre afraid of hurting another personâs feelings. If so, why are you taking the other personâs feelings into account and not your own?
Similarly, some of us are hesitant to say no because we fear being labeled as having a bad attitude or not being a team player. This is an understandable fear, especially if the person trying to capture some of your time is an authority figure. You may also encounter this problem if you work in an especially competitive environment, where not giving all of your time isseen as a lack of commitment. If this is the case, then you may have to surrender some of your time, like it or not; but do your best to trim the required time to the bare minimum.
Stop being so generous with your time, and relearn the value of saying no when doing so is appropriate.
More Tips for Saying No
One key to saying no effectively is to develop what my colleague and fellow NSA board member Brian Tracy calls âWonât Powerââthe power to declare and stick to all the things you
wonât
do (Iâm harking back to the
Not
-To-Do list I discussed in Chapter 1 ). Itâs a lot easier to say no and make it stick if you keep your own needs firmly in mind. Those
have
to come first! Remember this key aspect of the PWF process: reduce, reduce, reduce. If you donât put yourself at the head of your own line and block all comers, someone else will definitely cut ahead of you. To use another metaphor, this is
your
hill, and you have to remain king or queen of it.
You have the right to say no to any request you canât afford. Stand firm without being guilted into saying yes. Maybe youâre the type of person who tries to do your best for everyone. But how likely are you to produce at your peak on a task you didnât want to take on in the first place? What if youâve exceeded your physical or mental limits?
Your feelings matter. If you want to say no, thereâs a reason behind it. Sometimes, you simply have to listen to your own gut. With that in mind, here are some additional tips for saying no.
All you need is love. Do your best to say no in an upbeat way. I know this sounds like a contradiction in terms, but thereâs a big difference between saying âNot just no, but hell no,â and âIâd love to but just canât take that on right now!â A positiverejection can ensure no one gets hurt feelings, especially if you follow up with, âBut please keep me in mind for any further projects!â Youâre not making any promises, but youâre keeping the lines of communication open. And thank the person for considering you in the first place, since you might need their help someday.
Donât make empty promises. If you canât do something (or just donât want to), come right out and say it. Donât make an empty promise and then let it come crashing down around you, leaving your requester in the lurch. If you turn them down flat, they have the opportunity to find someone else. If you find it uncomfortable to say no immediately, ask for a little time to think it over. This will put the person on notice you might very well refuse them. Then return with your answer promptly and politely.
Donât apologize for or explain yourself. If you canât take on a new task, decline without making an issue out of it and offering a ton of explanations. A simple, âSorryâIâd love to help out, but I donât have the bandwidth right now,â is sufficient. They donât need to know more; in any case, youâre not obliged to justify yourself, no matter how much you might disappoint the other party. If someone insists on knowing why you needed to say no, diplomatically give them a brief truth, whatever the case may be: Itâs not in your skill set; you donât feel you can do the project justice; you donât have the time in your schedule; or
Flowers for Miss Pengelly