youâre saving the time for your family or something important to you. If someone really insists, firmly reiterate you canât do it. Be polite but assertive. This, of course, applies to fellow coworkers. For the boss, youâll need to try negotiation.
Negotiate. If your boss presents you with a task you canât outright refuse, but your plate is undeniably full, donât hesitate to point this out. Donât beat around the bush. Openly discuss your current deadlines and workload, and communicateboth honestly and clearly. For example, you might say, âIâm currently working on X, Y, and Z projects. As things stand, I believe this additional project is beyond my capacity at the moment, and I want to return quality work in a timely way. Would you like me to hand it off to someone else, hire a contractor, or would you prefer to reprioritize my existing project load for me?â How you approach this, of course, depends on your circumstances, but it does put the ball back into your managerâs court.
Meet someone halfway. Sometimes itâs hard to say no to a request, especially when itâs clear someone thinks enough of you to try to tap your expertise. While I feel itâs critical for you to develop the capacity to refuse, you can arrange to meet people halfway and offer alternatives to immediately adding something to your HIT list. For example, you might admit youâre already booked up, but make it clear youâll do all you can to help. Or, rather than being a committee member, youâll act in an advisory capacity. Perhaps you canât drop what youâre juggling right now, but thereâs an open spot somewhere ahead in your schedule in a few weeks. Inform the requester you can do the task then, and not now. This solution may satisfy you both if the task isnât time-critical. If you really want to help with a new task, but you genuinely donât have the time, be honest and ask if thereâs some way you can contribute without going all-in.
Be persistent and consistent. Some people just wonât take no for an answer and will keep bugging you to take on a task, no matter how many times you refuse them. In a case like this one, youâll have to respond to their persistence with persistence of your own. Now, Iâm not talking about someone who responds to your rejection with a standard statement like, âAw, are you sure? Well, if you change your mind â¦â Some people will feel obliged to ask a second time later on; again, this is no big deal if you just say no again. Use this technique with thedysfunctional ones who demand to know why not (see the first tip) or ask over and over, as if they canât believe you refused them. Donât let them wear you down.
Be crystal clear. Be straightforward when turning someone down; say no when you mean no. Donât couch your rejection in obscure terms or beat around the bush; just say no in a direct way, so you donât have to repeat yourself because you confused someone. Your answer should be clear to any reasonable person, and you donât need to argue.
Donât worry too much about their feelings. Some people take a turndown as a blow to their self-esteem. This is not your problem. Your goal is to reduce your commitment level, not to help others reduce theirsâand thatâs exactly what theyâre attempting when they ask you to take on their tasks. Donât let pity overwhelm your common sense; unless something awful and unfair has happened, you canât afford to feel sorry for everyone and everything. Just because theyâve let something blow up into a crisis doesnât mean itâs your crisisâunless you take it on.
You Want a Piece of Me?
Everyone wants to be the nice person in the office ⦠well, maybe not the curmudgeon over there in the corner. But you can take a cue from him, because heâs not afraid to say no. You canât be afraid either, or