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constantly. And it scares me.
    “I’m not the one drunk here. You’re the one trying to escape what you’re feeling. I left to escape the weight of the memories, but I’m facing head on the consequences of what is missing. Maybe you should take a good look and do something instead of running. Don’t think you don’t have anything to lose.’’
    The small muscle in his jaw clenches repeatedly. His eyes flash to me and I lose my breath. “Maybe I’m not as resilient as you are, then,’’ he retorts, his words still slurred, but the anger underneath partially masks it.
    I shrug and shake my head as I stand up. I keep my eyes on him. When I’m standing and he’s sitting, his head is at my navel. A thrill runs through me at the thought of this dominant position over such a man when he looks up to lock eyes with me again. “We are all strong and resilient. You just need to want to be.’’
    I don’t know Jensen and maybe I’m a bit quick to pass on judgement, but something tells me he needs to be reminded that we all have strength. Sometimes it’s difficult to locate it through the pain and other negative emotions overwhelming us, but it’s there. And while he is obviously coping in a way I’ve never done, I see myself in his eyes. I recognize this sad light in his eyes because I see it every day when I look in a mirror. Maybe it’s this that makes me feel so strongly when around him. Even now when he’s drunk and hiding behind a wall of barely contained hostility as I put my finger on a tender spot I feel my whole body buzzing.

 
    JENSEN
     
    Not going out tonight. Another time. -J
     
    I hit send and throw my phone on the coffee table. Hopefully, Cassie won’t insist. I rub at my eyes and groan when a headache starts pounding at my temple. Fucking alcohol. If only getting shit faced didn’t have any consequences, I’d be even more happy to do it. Now that I’m starting to think more clearly, I just want another drink.
    I put a small pillow under my head and settle myself on the couch. Aideen’s words replay in my head, beating the tempo for my headache. The girl is opinionated and while it’s maddening and usually I’d have told her to fuck off in no uncertain terms, this time around I find it both puzzling and captivating. There’s just something, something in the way she speaks, the way she sees me for who I am, instead of just a bachelor who’s not fit to be a father, that catches my attention. And it shouldn’t.
    Hal is fucking infatuated with her. I can’t forget that.
    But she’s gorgeous and my dick stands at attention whenever she’s around.
    “Still alive?’’
    I start and shoot upright suddenly. The room spins and I clamp my teeth closed to prevent nausea. I groan and bring a hand to my sweaty forehead. My vision clears up and the first thing I see is Aideen’s extended hand, palm open, with a couple of pills. I let my eyes wander up her bare arm and up to her face. There’s a small smile, stretching her lips upward. I can’t look away from her soft looking lips and their rosy color, so delicate and appetizing.
    “Jensen?’’
    I shake my head and frown. “Shit.’’ I close my eyes for a second.
    “Take these and drink the water.’’
    She gives me the pills and the tall glass full of water. I swallow the Advil and force the water down my throat, past the nausea and my dark need for more alcohol. As soon as the glass is empty she takes it from me and turns around for the kitchen, dismissing me without another word. And I watch her walk away, giving myself that little reprieve. After all, nobody has access to my thoughts and that’s good because even with this headache from hell I’m thinking of taking her on any and all surfaces available here. And fuck if it doesn’t sound good.
    “Thank you.’’ The words are difficult to leave my mouth, but I can’t keep on being a jerk to her. She’s a nice girl and if she’s going to be with Hal…I need to make an effort