and be an adult. And mostly, I need to stop the onslaught of carnal thoughts with her featured as the headliner. “I’m sorry you had to, you know.’’ I wave at myself and slouch further into the couch.
She comes back and leans against the wall, her slender arms crossed over her chest. “Don’t mention it. I know that we all cope differently.’’
I flick my tongue over my dry lips and chuckle without humor. “It’s not coping, it’s called being a coward.’’
“You keep giving me openings to question you, you know.’’
I let my eyes brush over her body. The flare of her hips is, in itself, enough to make me want to worship that tiny scrap of bare skin. But her breasts, a handful, behind her crossed arms aren’t far from my mind either. It makes it all the more difficult to focus. I need some space or else I’m going to make the wrong move and I won’t be able to hide behind the fact I’m drunk because now I’m just hungover, not drunk. Mostly.
“You too. Does that mean you want to talk about what happened to you?’’
From here I can see her stiffen. Her hasty answer isn’t a surprise.
“No. There’s nothing to tell.’’
I nod and cock my head to one side, supporting it against the back of the couch. “You have your answer then.’’
“You’re very different from the man I pictured you to be.’’
I smirk at her, amused. What, so she didn’t think I’d be a fucker with a drinking problem who is obviously very much into casual sex and reckless driving on a classic bike? I arch an eyebrow at her and run a hand along my square jaw. “I hope you find me sexier.’’
***
AIDEEN
I gape at him. Mouth inelegantly open, eyes round like saucers. And as if it wasn’t enough, heat is fast invading my face, probably coloring me a harsh shade of red. I bring both hands to my cheeks and at this point I can’t exactly play it cool or composed.
“Hm… I mean…’’ I stutter lamely and clear my throat. “You look… Hm…’’
“I’m pulling your leg.’’
I giggle nervously and it sounds pretty hysterical. Damn it, kill me now. Please. “I better, uh, go to my room.’’ I gesture to the staircase and force a smile on my still hot face.
“Aideen, calm down. I’m just…’’ He groans and mutters something under his breath as he looks away. “I guess acting like a dick around you is second nature.’’
I deflate and the heat in my face is slowly receding. I’m an idiot for reacting so extremely to his teasing. Yes, I do find him sexy and hot and I wasn’t expecting it when I walked in his house for the first time yesterday, but it’s nothing any other woman would say. Why do I need to react like this? I know I’ve been like a hermit for the past year, but I still have eyes. I didn’t go blind after Yann, but it’s the first time that I… I don’t know, feel a stirring inside me? It sounds ridiculous when put it like that, but it’s pretty much what it feels like.
“I shouldn’t have been all flustered. It’s ridiculous.’’
“We need to adjust,’’ he rasps and discreetly adjusts himself. I can’t keep my eyes above belt level and my stomach twists. “I’m not used to living with people and even less with a woman. I’m not sure I’ve fully processed the idea of having a son.’’
I walk to the couch and slowly sit, as far away from him as I can. “I’m not staying for much longer. I have more visits lined up tomorrow. I don’t want you to feel uneasy in your own home.’’
He shakes his head and his fists clench on his lap. His big calloused hands look threatening and yet, another thrill courses through me.
“I’m uneasy everywhere. You being in my house doesn’t change that, but at least it distracts me from my usual mess.’’ He turns to me, his head against the back of the couch again. “And stop telling me you’re not staying. I get your need for independence, but you don’t have to rush anything.’’
I lose
Elle Strauss, Lee Strauss