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for Hope.”
    â€œYou’re going to rent this house?” I ask Agnes.
    She nods.
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause I want my own place, and this way we can all live together.”
    â€œYay!” Maddy says, clapping her hands.
    â€œBut …” I trail off. Live together? Is she serious? Would the college even allow me to live off-campus? They’re certainly not expecting a large donation from Nana. And even if they allowed it, I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent.
    Agnes says, “Let’s go drive by.”
    â€œNow?” Maddy asks.
    Agnes nods.
    â€œOkay,” says Maddy.
    Agnes raises her eyebrows at me. “Coming?”
    â€œNo,” I say. “I have a lot of reading to do.”
    â€œOh, come on, it’ll be fun,” Maddy coaxes.
    â€œI have to read three psych chapters by tomorrow.”
    â€œWell, in that case,” Agnes says, “enjoy the stench.”
    â€œHey,” Maddy says, slapping Agnes’s arm.
    â€œWe won’t be long anyway,” says Agnes, snatching her car keys off Maddy’s desk. “Don’t forget to lock the door.”
    â€œWhy?” I ask.
    â€œSecurity,” Agnes says.
    I ignore the warning. We live in an all-female dorm at an all-female college. What could happen?
    Maddy kisses the top of Hope’s head. Then she comes over to me and kisses the top of mine. “Sure you don’t want to be with us?”
    I can’t help but wonder about her choice of words: be with us . Are we not allowed to be apart?
    â€œI’m going to stay here,” I say.
    Agnes opens the door and “Down Boy” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasts into the room from across the hall.
    â€œI like this song,” I say.
    Agnes immediately closes the door. “Sorry, but I can’t hear. Come on, M.”
    â€œYou know,” Maddy says, stroking my hair, “I think you’d look really cute with a pixie.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œLike Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted .”
    I shake my head. “I’ve never had short hair before.”
    â€œIt would look so good on you. Here, I’ll show you a picture.” She grabs a hair magazine from a pile on the floor.
    Agnes taps her foot. “Can we do this later?”
    â€œJust a sec,” says Maddy.
    â€œI’ll be outside,” Agnes says, opening the door again and disappearing into the hallway.
    Maddy holds up a picture of a waif with short, spiky hair. “Isn’t that adorable?”
    â€œOn her, yes. On me, it would look stupid.”
    â€œAre you kidding? With your bone structure? It’d look even better on you.”
    Her compliment makes me uncomfortable, so I say, “Shouldn’t you get going?”
    â€œYeah, I guess. We can talk about this later.”
    Can’t wait.
    Finally Maddy leaves, closing the door behind her. Alone at last. Well, sort of. Hope is looking at me with her wet, dopey eyes.
    I think of Nana and picture her sitting on her rat-colored La-Z-Boy, feet propped up, chain-smoking, eyes glued to the TV. Should I call her? We haven’t spoken since the day I left California. I don’t really feel like talking to her, but I’m almost broke and the check she promised to send still hasn’t arrived. Before I left, I asked Nana if she thought she’d get lonely without me. She just shook her head and said, “I could always get a dog.” You told me you were allergic, I wanted to say but didn’t. Nana’s a bitch. I don’t get it: aren’t grandparents supposed to love their grandchildren? Isn’t it one of the laws of nature or something?
    I decide not to call her.
    Not knowing what to do with myself, I open the door to the large walk-in closet Maddy and I share. I study her clothes: Marc Jacobs, Chloé, Louis Vuitton, Proenza Schouler, and a bunch of designers I’ve never heard of. Most of the pieces are unworn, with their tags still dangling at