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of the way closed, and all my thoughts were on him as he tilted his head and pressed in closer. His warm tongue slid over the seam of my lips. Mine parted instinctively, and I inhaled my first breath of him. He tasted like cheap tequila and chlorine, like the way he smelled after a long night of drinking. It was home.
    The tip of his tongue flirted into my mouth as soft fingers with an edge of nails smoothed over my chest. It felt surprisingly good, and I knew they must belong to Charlie since Sam's hand was still on my thigh. He took my hand and slid it further up his leg until the tips of my fingers brushed his bulge, eliciting a moan from his lips. I moved my other hand to Charlie’s hip, and her face dipped to press a kiss to my nipple.
    Sam broke the kiss, and I could just make out his swollen lips in the low light. He smiled at me and moved his mouth to my ear. He nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin before I felt his hot breath fanning down my neck.
    "Me too."
    My head snapped around almost colliding with his, and my hand tightened, nails biting into his thigh. My brows rose, questioning his meaning.
    "I do," he said again, so soft that I almost believed I’d imagined it.
    Tiny fingers worked on my belt, and my head was all over the place. My cock swelled between my thighs, hard and painful, and it was taking all the blood from my head, making it nearly impossible to think about what he had just said.
    I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to his, forcing myself to think. "How long?" I whispered as I felt Charlie's soft lips where the button of my jeans had once sat.
    Fuck, fuck, fuck. I couldn't be having this conversation right now. She used both hands to slide my jeans down a bit, and her lips moved lower.
    Sam didn't respond. A low baritone growl sounded in the back of my throat.
    He shook his head, his forehead still against mine. "Later." His eyes pleaded with me.
    I sighed, and he pushed my hand to cup his package. I groaned. He was big and thick, everything from what I remembered when I had glimpses of his morning wood. I suddenly wanted to touch him, to have my mouth on him like Charlie did me. My thumb stroked over the edge of his head, through his pants, and he was kissing me again. My shirt was pushed off my shoulders by one or both of them, and Charlie moved to straddle my lap. She joined the kiss, adding the taste of that cherry flavored alcohol she liked to mix. I didn't expect to like it, but I did. Anything with Sam would have been good.
    The sensations, good and bad, were so overwhelming. I was in love with Sam, and here I was helping him give his girlfriend, my other best friend in the world, pleasure for the sake of pleasure. There were no feelings behind this on either of their ends. I was lying to her. I was using her to get time with him. I was a dick.
    Everything was numbed by the drinks, and I felt like a coward. I knew only one other person who hid behind alcohol, and here I was doing the same, justifying things I never should have. I couldn't be with her. I wanted him, because I loved him. I was attracted to him because of my feelings. He had been the first and only person I wanted to be this close to.
    Panic hit me in the chest like a bullet. Pain exploded outward, arousal drained, and my mind came back to me. It was only stimulation muddled with alcohol that was feeding the frenzy in my brain.
    "I can't do this." I stood and dumped Charlie off my lap, retreating to my bedroom before either of them could stop me.
    I fell face first into my bed and buried my head in the pillows. What the fuck had I been thinking? I wasn't cut out for that kind of stuff. Even if it had felt good, I wasn't being honest with myself. I didn't have the same feelings about sex as they did. I knew now I needed a connection like I had with Sam to have an attraction. I was fucked.
    A soft knock sounded on my door, and my hands balled in the sheets. When the door creaked opened, I wished I had had the presence